Random Tidbits

Here’s another post with the random updates from my life over the past week or so.  I finalized my decision to move back home to Arkansas and have been trying to get everything organized for that move.  If I didn’t own furniture life would be a lot simpler for me right now.  But I do so I’m trying to coordinate with a moving company and people that can help me load it up.  I’m a little nervous about finding help but I keep trying to tell myself not to worry about it until the day before I move because there isn’t much I can do before then.  And it’s not like I’ll be stranded here in Mesa for the rest of my life because I couldn’t load the moving truck.  Somehow it will all work out.

I spoke in church again today.  I say again as though I speak every Sunday – which I don’t.  Matter of fact the last time I did was a year ago but this past year has passed so quickly it feels like I just did it.  Since I live in another state then I did last year, I decided to repeat the same talk to the folks here.  No point in coming up with something new when the old one worked just fine.  I think I’m funnier in person telling stories than I am writing them here.  For those of you who don’t think I’m funny or that this blog is entertaining, to you I stick out my tongue and say THPPPP  and for those of you who already think I’m funny I say “It’s true.  Hard to believe but I’m better live.”  I got a handful of laughs and that’s really all I could ask for.

Last night I jammed my finger trying to kill a cricket in a sports injury.  Ok fine, I was trying to kill a cricket that found it’s way into my room.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened but the next thing I knew my finger bent back and now it’s swollen and bruised.  Stupid cricket.  And to add insult to injury, the cricket made it’s way behind my dresser where I couldn’t get at it.  Cricket = 1  Nandango = 0.  This morning I woke up to find the cricket still in my room near my bed, as though it were taunting me.  With my finger still painfully sore I decided that he had messed with the wrong human and that this was war.  Several shoe throws later he was dead.  Take that cricket.

I had been wanting to go out and take some nature shots but wasn’t exactly sure where I could go and didn’t want to spend the gas money driving all around the state either.  A friend suggest a local nature reserve by her house that she had passed numerous times but had never stopped to look around.  It wasn’t all that fascinating but was surprisingly large for being in a semi-residential area.  I did manage to get some shots and it was nice to get out of my apartment.  Afterward she wanted to go see a movie.  This is fine because I like movies.  I want to interject here and ask did you know that it’s $10 to see a movie??  And I’ll assume that in larger cities it’s more but holy cripes!  I generally stick to the dollar theaters or redbox.  What is all that money going toward anyway?  It’s not like the movies all that much better than they used to be.  The food (which I never buy) I assume is still crappy.  I don’t think the seats are that much more comfortable and the whole place is dark so it’s not like I’m checking out the decor.  And I really hate the commercials they play before the previews.  What happened to Front Row Joe?  They used to have a cartoon with him in it complete with a song and everything.

Anyway, she suggests a movie and in my mind I’m thinking please don’t say you want to see My Sister’s Keeper.  Please don’t want to see My Sister’s Keeper.  That of course is the movie she wants to see.  Great.  It’s not like I thought it was going to be the worst movie on the planet but I’m sure there are other movies playing that I would rather spend my $10 on.  And besides, I don’t like Cameron Diaz.  I knew this was going to be a sad movie and sure enough the entire theater was like one giant snot fest.  You could hear people sniffling through the whole thing and when it was over just about every woman in the place had a kleenex.  I can only imagine what people outside the door where thinking when they saw everyone come out with red, blotchy, puffy faces.  I tuned out the last 20 min or so of the movie and stared at the chair in front of me in hopes I could pull it together before we walked out.  And I really felt bad for the few guys that were dragged there by their girlfriends.  I concluded that they either did something incredibly wrong and this was their punishment or they were planning on doing something incredibly wrong and were storing up on the brownie points.

Well that’s basically been my last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  Mixed with reading books and watching my own DVDs over and over.  Just think, two weeks from today I’ll be writing my entries from home in Arkansas.  Crazy all the things that can happen in a year.

Million Dollar Question

I was wandering around Target this afternoon and made my usual stop at the movies to see if there were any exceptional deals going on (there weren’t by the way).  I was completely lost in the world of cinema when I heard a female ask in a very baby voice, “Do you think you’ll want to pee in this one?  Or do you think you’ll want to pee in this one?”  Uh….and that’s when I looked up and discovered that the movies were next to the baby section and the lady wasn’t talking to me at all.  Phew.  That was a close one.

I Think I’ll Do That Instead

About a month or so ago we had a lab meeting with the boss of the boss, so I knew it was going to be good.  Because work has been so slow for the past year, the powers that be have decided to close down the lab – hence we will all be out of a job.  The departure isn’t expected to happen before the new year so at least there is plenty of warning (unless they come in tomorrow and pull the plug but that’s doubtful).  Compared to a few co-workers I have it pretty good.  I have no family to support and no commitments that tie me down to Utah or anything else for that matter.  Needless to say I’m not worried and don’t plan on even thinking of making future decisions until I get back from my trip to Arkansas at the end of the month.  And probably not even then either.

But then again, this has caused me to think of my dream jobs and how sweet life would be if I could manage to get one of these.  In no way am I qualified for any of them really but that’s why they’re called DREAM jobs.

And in no particular order:

1.  Food Taste Tester

This could turn out very badly.  Like if I was required to eat some delicacy from some island no one had ever heard of.  This would probably end up being something with more than 4 legs and still alive.  Maybe the title should really be Food Taste Tester with an emphasizes on dessert (as long as the dessert doesn’t turn out to be flan or tapioca pudding *shudder*)

2.  Hotel Tester

Imagine getting paid to go on vacations to check out hotel services.  I would make sure they knew I could travel abroad.

3.  Photographer for National Geographic

You get to travel and see the most beautiful and interesting places in the world.  Um, yes please.

4.  Photographer for Favorite Band

Let’s see, you get to travel and hang with your favorite band all the time.  You get exclusive interviews and free reign to take pics and not only would they let you, but unlike the paparazzi, they would be paying you to do so.

5.  Book Reviewer

I read lots of books anyway so I might as well get paid to do so.  And the review wouldn’t be hard to do because it’s just your opinion of what you read.  Simple as that.

6.  Movie Critic

This is the same idea as the book reviewer.  How are people “qualified” to do this anyway?  Just watch a movie and say what you thought of it.  See… thumbs up, thumbs down.

7.  Toy Tester

Imagine going into a room full of toys and being told you will get paid to play with them.  I think I would feel like Tom Hanks in Big.

8.  Mattress Tester

Now hold on just a minute.  I already know where some of you may be going with this one but I’m referring to SLEEPING on the mattress – that or jumping from mattress to mattress in the store.  “Ma’am we’ll pay you and all you have to do is take a little nap.”  Where do I sign?

9.  Bookstore

I would prefer to work in an old, local, used bookstore as opposed to a large chain but either could be fun.  You would have full access to all sorts of different kinds of books and if your store wasn’t busy you would have plenty of time to read.

10.  Hiker

I heard a guy yesterday say that he was a professional hiker.  I’m not sure what that entails exactly but I think it’s kind of strenuous.  My job wouldn’t be.  I would go walking on trails and get paid for it.  Let’s see, get to be outside, lots of exercise, and not be bothered with phone calls and deadlines.

Who knows?  Maybe in 6 months I’ll be writing an entry from a hotel on some remote island, dining on bugs, while taking pictures for National Geographic as I go for a walk on a backwoods trail.

Ditched for a Dude

In Jr. High and High School I remember hanging out with friends on the weekends at parties or other activities and when a guy walked over that my friend was into, as the odd man out and my duty as the third person, I was to make myself scarce.  Or at least be prepared to be ignored for the time he is there.  I’ve even made plans with friends only to have them canceled because an opportunity to go out with the guy they are into has come up.  While I don’t like plans being canceled, this is semi-acceptable.  Hell, I’ve even been completely and totally stood up by a guy before.  No call.  No message.  Just me waiting and waiting with no idea where he is or what’s going on (this was before cell phones and he wasn’t answering his landline).  In the single’s world this is what happens.  But when push comes to shove, with the exception of engagement/marriage, I think friends should come first before the “significant other”.  But a new sort of ditched happened to me this weekend.

Saturday afternoon I’m sitting on my couch watching a little TV trying to muster up the energy to take a shower because I had just finished working out.  While I’m sitting there, my phone rings.  On the other end is a girl I’ve been friends with for 7 or 8 years.  I answer and ask her what’s up and she asks me if I want to go see Batman.  As a side note, the two of us had just seen Batman the previous Monday.  I’m a little baffled and tell her sure I guess so, but sensing something else is happening I ask her what’s going on.  She proceeds to tell me this story, in tears no less, about the guy she is dating.  In all of these years of being friends, I think I have seen/heard her cry only once.  Maybe twice.  So I knew she was incredibly upset.

Apparently, they were supposed to go see Batman together on Saturday.  She was going for him because she had already seen the movie and he had not.  So he picked the day and the time and she had bought the tickets earlier and was to pick him up as soon as she got off work.  She went by his house to get him only to find out that he had gone canoeing with his friend and hadn’t bothered to call and tell her.  Now I don’t know if he thought he would be back in time and that’s why he didn’t say anything to her or if he forgot about the movie completely.

Batman was a good movie.  And I would see it again.  However, we had just seen it and I wasn’t overly anxious to see it again but of course told her I was on my way to meet her at the theater.  After all, that’s what friends do when one of them is upset right?  I jump up to get my keys and realize I’m still in my gym clothes.  And I stink.  Very badly.  I don’t have time for a shower so I quickly put on another gym shirt that turned out to be 3 sizes too big and sprayed on some perfume.  Because we all love when someone tries to cover up body odor with perfume/cologne.

On the way over to the theater she calls me back and says that she’s going to see if she can exchange the tickets for another movie since both of us have already seen Batman.  Works for me.  I show up a few minutes later and she has tickets to see Hancock but we have an hour to kill.  She gets something to eat and we walk over to the bookstore to look around to kill some time.  While in the bookstore, her phone rings and it’s the guy but she’s so ticked she doesn’t bother to answer it.  Good for her.  The Batman movie is supposed to start in about 10 minutes and now he’s calling her back?

We leave the bookstore and head into a shoe store and then decide to go ahead and go to the theater even though we still have a half hour before it starts.  We get seated and she pulls out her phone and says,”I know I shouldn’t listen to this but I’m curious.”  I say, “Nope you sure shouldn’t.  But whatever your phone.”  She listens to the message and tells me that he is here at the theater.  What?  So she leaves to go call/find him.  Since she never answered when he called he had started to walk home.  She was gone for about 15 minutes and when she came back in, guess who was with her?  Hello, talk about awkward.  This was the conversation I heard them have:

Her –  “Well at least we picked Hancock and not Mama Mia like I really wanted.  Mama Mia started too late.  Or you would have to sit through that.”

Him – “I’ve already seen Mama Mia.”

Her – “You’ve already seen Mama Mia?  When did you do that?”

Him – “I got tickets to the pre-screening and saw it before the movie was released.”

Her – “Oh.  Well, thanks for asking me if I wanted to go.  I really appreciate that.  That was thoughtful of you.”

Me – (thinking)  Holy Hell!  Awkward! AWKWARD!!  At this point I tuned them out because a commercial for the new season of Heroes came on.

The movie ends and in my mind I’m thinking that she will drop him off at home, I’ll follow and we (she and I) will go back to her place and hang out for the night.  The credits are rolling and it’s still a little tense so I wait for her to be the first one to say something.  She looks at me and says, “Well, thanks for coming….sorry.”  What?  WHAT???  Seriously?  I’m momentarily stupified as I mull over what I’m hearing.  And what I’m hearing is this:  You’re dismissing me?  After you called me in tears, angry and frustrated with this guy because he ditched you.  Ditched you!  Probably only showed up because of the angry voice mail you left on his phone before you called me and realized how pissed you were and that he was in trouble.  I jumped up and came immediately, in smelly gross gym clothes, because that’s what friends do.  I even said the obigatory girl things like, “I’m so sorry!!…”  “You have every reason to be upset…” “Don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry about…”  And now, with the snap of a finger, my role is done.  I’m no longer needed.  Well, how do you like them apples?  I just looked at her and said the first thing that came to mind which was “you do realize this is all going in my blog right?” – as though that’s any kind of threat HA!

So there you have it.  I was introduced to a new way of being ditched.  And I have to say, I’m not a fan.

Head ’em up and move ’em out!

                                                                                             

To relax after a week of work and who knows what else might come my way, I hit the dollar movie every Saturday. It’s my time away from the world where I can sit mindlessly and be entertained for two hours without worries or problems. But what should be a time of bliss is continually interrupted by kids. What I don’t understand is why parents feel it’s a good idea to bring their children to the movies. Granted, if I were going to watch a G rated cartoon I would have no bases for complaints. But I’m not. Forget about what seeing a more grown up film might do to kid’s imagination and nightmares it might cause, why would you bring a child too young to even sit still for that long of a time frame? I went and saw The Simpson’s Movie a few weeks ago – very funny by the way – and there was a kid about 6 sitting two seats down. First of all, really a 6 year old shouldn’t be watching the Simpons in the first place, and secondly, through the whole thing he would stand up, then sit down, stand up, sit on the top of the chair and slide down. Then his leg would go over the armrest, then back down, then stand up…I think you get the point. Meanwhile, his dad was completely oblivious to anything his son was doing. I thought I would smack them both. A few years ago, one of my Young Women’s teacher said that they had taken their little girl (i believe was 3 or 4 at the time) with them to see some rated R movie. She said every time someone was shot she would have to say that they’re just playing a game. Good grief. I bet the people sitting around them had a ball. I don’t go to parks and play on the equipment, don’t try to join in on a play date, don’t go to the kid’s section of the library during some sort of kiddie corner whatever, and if I were to ever start playing in the McDonald’s jungle gym guess what…I would be kicked out. So tell you what, I’ll stay away from you, if kids (and I’m really talking to your parents) stay away from me. And start with the movies would you!