Valentine Tradition

A few years ago my brother and I made some heart shaped sugar cookies for Valentine’s Day.  Instead of decorating them pink with pretty sprinkles, we iced them black and wrote what most people really think of the opposite sex (you know you’ve thought these).  Here are the contenders for Valentine’s Day 2012:

Some of these were repeats, some new, but all had us cracking up while we made them.

My So Called Life

Two words: Jordan Catalano.  *sigh, swoon, melt*  Yesterday Netflix sent a DVD to our house that was really supposed to go to my brother’s fiance in Idaho.  I opened the envelope and found three episodes from the show My So Called Life.  I LOVED this show!  It premiered in 1994 when I was 15 (same age as the title character Angela) but thanks to those corporate network execs that I love so much, it only lasted one season.

Angela was me.  I couldn’t believe they created a show that so perfectly thought what I was thinking.  And while the show was great in its own right, I really tuned in every week for Jordan.  Re-watching it now, I realize there wasn’t much to his character.  He wasn’t deep by any means, hardly had any lines at all come to think of it but he really didn’t need to.

That picture on top graced the back of my bedroom door for close to 12 years before I finally gave in to imaginary social pressure that told me I was too old to have a collage of men on my bedroom door.  I may have taken him down but I didn’t have the heart to toss him in the trash with everyone else so somewhere in a box in the garage there Jared Leto sits.  But he’s not alone, I’m pretty sure I salvaged Mark Wahlberg as well.

A few years ago I went to a 30 Seconds to Mars show and got to meet, albeit incredibly briefly, Jared.  And while it was brief, it was long enough to look and see that his eyes really are that blue.  And at least I didn’t pull this little stunt when he asked me a question.

Anyway, watching the show took me back in time to my freshman year like it was yesterday.  The clothes, the hair, the makeup, how I thought everything was dramatic and no one except my peers knew how I was feeling.  It kind of felt exciting.  Everything was new, you hadn’t been around long enough to experience anything yet.  Looking back through the years I have some good memories and some bad ones, but they’re all a bit hazy in comparison to what I remember about high school.  I’m sure my recollection is slightly warped but didn’t it seem like we were so much more mature than the kids in high school are now?  I’m sure of it.

Then I remembered during my senior year there was a sophomore that reminded me of Jordan Catalano.  He was the oldest looking sophomore I’d ever seen.  Had the same blue eyes, easy smile, and same sort of laid back style and vibe that Jordan had.  Only this guy hung out with the popular crowd, probably for those same reasons.  I didn’t have the same sort of mad crush Angela had on  Jordan…well crap, or the way I had on Jordan, but noticed him in the halls from time to time.

For a few summers while I was in college, I worked on the landscape crew at the local university.  It was my second summer working there when who should get hired?  None other than this guy from high school.  To be honest I don’t really remember that much about him.  How’s that for an anti-climax?  I’m thinking he was a nice guy, we probably had some fun here and there but the overall memory is vague.  Geez, talk about a bummer.

Well, I decided to look this guy up and naturally found him on facebook.  Ack!  Not looking so much like Jordan Catalano anymore.  Not that he looks bad but when your vague memory looks like guy in the above pictures, all I’m saying is be prepared to be disappointed.

And just like that I remember it’s not 1994.  It’s 2010.  I’m not 15, I’m almost 31.  And I think, high school was limiting.  It was the same thing spit out again and again for four years.  It was the same people year after year.  What was exciting and new your freshman year, became an overplayed song on the radio that you either grew to hate or numbly ignored by your senior year.

But then I think of the Jordan Catalanos in high school and can’t help but smile.

Meet Lulu

Isn’t she just the cutest?  I was on my way to Wal-Mart when I saw her trying to cross the road.  Naturally I pulled over and she became Lulu, my pet turtle.  It’s not unusual to see these little guys walking in the streets, so I’m sure she won’t be my only one this summer.  Almost as sure as I am that she will escape and be well on her way to the Mexican border by morning.  Or at least to the entry of the neighborhood.  Assuming of course a dog doesn’t get to her first.

I haven’t even had her for 12 hours and I’m already turning into some crazy turtle lady.  What would she prefer to eat? (Good grief.  She’s a turtle.)  Will she know there’s water in the bowl? (Pretty sure a turtle can find water.)  She seems to like to burrow into my shirt.  She won’t suffocate herself will she?  See, what I mean – crazy turtle lady.  And the list goes on and on.  Someone needs to start making some local friends stat!

I even went to Home Depot to get some chicken wire so I could fence her in the backyard.  When I asked the guy working there where the chicken wire was he looked at me and said, “What do you mean by chicken wire?”  Well….I mean chicken wire.  Not sure how much more clear I can be on that.

My mom asked me how I know Lulu is female and I was telling her what I had read on google.  So basically it comes down to the males being more colorful and attractive.  I guess there are a lot of species where the male is more attractive than the females.  Which I suppose makes sense if the female is choosing her mate.  I remember hearing of some species of bird where the male has to do some sort of mating dance for the female.  If she likes what she sees, then it’s on.

Sometimes I think of questions I should ask a guy on the first date and always mean to write them down.  Usually I’m thinking about them because a friend is talking to me about a bad relationship they’ve had (or are in) and I start thinking about the things I should find out beforehand.  Like, “what’s your credit score?”  “how much debt do you have and what’s it for?” “toilet paper over or under?”  “Crest or Colgate?”  “Mayo or Miracle Whip?”  You know, hard hitting questions like that.  Well now I think maybe I should take some pointers from the birds and have the guy do a little dance on our first date.   Can you imagine asking someone to do that?  Or being asked?  Hilarious.  Maybe I should do a blog entry on how we should mimic the different behaviors of species in our own relationships.  Hmm…..

Anyway, here’s one more of Lulu for the road just because she’s so darn cute.  And yes, I do realize I would never be able to tell her a part if she were next to another box turtle:

I Should Stick to Saying NO

I’m going on a date this week because I didn’t say no and now I’m stuck.  Yesterday I met this guy who goes to my church.  Let me recap or better, what I should say is that before yesterday I didn’t know this guy existed on the planet.  We had a little of the get to know you small talk right before church started and he’s a nice guy.  As I’m leaving the building when church is over I happen to pass him in the hallway and he asks me what kinds of activities I like to do.  I’m completely taken off guard and am scrambling to come up with something other than the standard (and completely non helpful) “hang out with my friends”.  He tells me to think about it and he’ll give me a call later, he had to go to a meeting.  I barely walk in my door when he calls to see what I’ve come up with.  The only thing I could think of  is that I’ve gotten into hiking and landscape photography this past year but in my mind I don’t think this is going to be helpful to him because it’s about 115 degrees out and there’s no way I’m going hiking in that.  Unbeknownst to me, he’s an avid hiker and knows all these great spots some of which are good for night hiking.  At that moment I think night hiking could be fun and it would give me a chance to see a little bit of Arizona before I leave.  So it’s decided that we’re going on Tuesday at 5:30.  We end up chatting on the phone for another 15 min or so because he’s asking me more get to know you type questions.  I don’t mind talking on the phone.  As a matter of fact, if you’re family or a good friend I really enjoy it.  But I’ve only known of this guy’s existence for about 3 hours plus this is all good stuff to talk about when we’re actually together.

A couple of hours later I get a text message from him telling me about some people getting together to play games and hang out that night.  As I’m reading the message guess who calls?  He was just making sure I got the text because he wasn’t sure if I did texting or not.  I tell him I got it but I’m not going because I was packing.  Sure I was packing a little but the reality was that I just didn’t want to go.  We end of talking on the phone for about 10 min.  About 10 min after I hang up he calls again.  Oh for heaven’s sake.  Turns out he can’t go on Tuesday but could we change it to Wednesday?  Fine.  We’re on the phone for about another 20 min as he’s asking me questions about the type of landscapes I like to photograph.  Dude, I’m not professional.  I just like to mess around with it so I could care less what exactly the landscape looks like.  Finally we hang up.

Five minutes later my phone rings again.  JUDAS PRIEST  MAN!!!!!!  WHAT????  What more could you possibly need to say now???  This time he was asking if I had some of my pictures and maybe he could get an idea from my photos as to which spots would be good to shoot.  Again as my inner thoughts are flying through my brain I just keep thinking that it truly doesn’t matter where we go.  I’ve never been anywhere here in the state and the best thing about nature is that the same spot could look totally different from one day to the next.  Before I really knew what happened I had agreed that he could come over and look at my photos.  So 15 min later he was on my couch skimming through the photos on my laptop.  And the real kicker – he stayed for 2 1/2 hours.

Around 4:30 Sunday afternoon I thought some night hiking and the chance to take some landscape photos sounded like fun and was sort of looking forward to it.  Six hours later I’m sick of this guy and don’t want to go anywhere with him.  I’ve been trying to think of an excuse to use to get out of going.  One that actually sounds plausible and totally out of my control.  But I can’t think of anything.  And to be honest I sort of feel like a real jerk trying to get out of it.  More than a jerk, I feel like a complete tool.  He really is a nice guy and based on our brief conversations I get the drift that he has a lot of friends and likes going out and doing different things.  I truly think he’s trying to help make the most of my last week here but it was overkill.

However, it looks like I’ll most likely be going on this little excursion and you never know, it could be a lot of fun.  Or I could fall off a cliff and die.  Either way, the moral I’m taking from this story is to always first say no.  It’s much easier to change your mind from a no to a yes than the other way around.

Me Tarzan

Remember when I was bemoaning the idea of gift registries because I had to go to a wedding reception?  Well the blessed event was last week and I was anticipating a very quick in and out with a “go you” cheer in the middle.  I was relatively certain I wasn’t going to know anyone in the room which was fine because I actually had other plans that night. 

I showed up at the reception hall and imagine my complete and utter shock, when there standing right in front of me is GP.  Some of you may remember this is the guy that was my neighbor back in Utah that I could never talk to because well, he’s just too cute.

As we’re both standing there waiting to sign the guest book my mind is in hyper over drive at all the things I could say.  I mean, this is it.  My perfect opportunity that I’ve wanted and it’s finally mine.  All these things to say came to mind which I quickly dismissed and then quickly replaced only to keep doing it over and over.  I finally just went with the old fashioned “Hi” which he reciprocated. 

I’m not sure what happened after that.  I don’t know if I was so shocked to hear his voice directed to me, shocked to hear my own voice directed to him, or if my mind was momentarily abducted because the next thing out of my mouth was….nothing.  Not one blasted thing.  He turned and went on his way and the moment was over.  Smooth.  Real smooth.

tarzan

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

20 Questions You Probably Never Wanted Me To Answer But…

I was tagged by Maleesha  at Binary Trash to answer these.  Sometimes, like today, I’m so glad for tags because it saves me from having to think of something to write about.  Right off the bat I’m going to break rule #2 and not tag other people.  Feel free to participate if you want.

The rules of the game:

RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

No clue to be honest.  If it’s a real betrayal I might just walk out and take him for all he’s worth.  I once heard or read Ivanka Trump say, “Don’t get angry, get EVERYTHING!”  Of course I really don’t know and I hope I never have to find out.

2. If you have a dream you’d like to come true, what is it?

That I would have an infinite amount of money so I could travel around the world on a whim.  And because it would be infinite I would just be giving it away.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

Hmm, I don’t honestly know.  I can’t think of anyone specific but I really hate bullies so maybe I’d round up a few of them and show them what it’s like.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Didn’t I just answer this already?  Well, I guess I would pay off my student loan and my car – big spender I know.  Then I would pay off all the debt everyone in my family owes and give them all enough money to not ever have to worry about money again.  I would put away enough to travel and maybe invest some somewhere for posterity.  Then I would probably give the rest away.  There are a bunch of people in a small village in Guatemala whom I would love to give money too.  And anything to do with kids.  Like going to schools and purchasing supplies for them or donating to after school programs, music programs, and fitness programs.  Stuff like that.

5. Will your best friend always be your best friend?

My best friend would be Leigh and yes, she’d better be!

6. Have you ever been in love with two people at once?

Nope

7. How long would you wait for someone you really loved?

Uh, well it depends.  What am I waiting on them to do?  Get back from somewhere?  Overcome some issue?  Are they making up their minds about something?

8. If you won the lottery, would you quit your job?

Absolutely.

9. Who is on your celebrity top 5…you know, the ones…that if you ever had an opportunity…

Oh my gosh I just went into a frenzie b/c I know there are so many to pick from but my mind went blank.  For sure Wentworth Miller from Prison Break.  Christian Bale, David Beckham, Ryan Gosling, and Dave Annable.  I wouldn’ be surprised if I changed this a few times throughout the day.

10. What sucks the life out of you?

Hearing about or dealing with the same issues over and over and over again without any changes being made.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I would use my eyes.

12. What’s your greatest fear/phobia?

Rejection.  But I will also accept spiders and those large grasshoppers.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Well, we’ve never met but her blog is dang funny and she reads my blog so she must be awesome.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Hmm, I don’t know.  I’ve never been married or rich, just single and poor.  So I might be up for anything that changes that up a little.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Think to myself, “The sooner you get up and function, the sooner you can leave work and come home.”  Then I get up.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yes.  As long as I’m not the only one doing so.

17. Is your career vitally important to you?

Nope

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

I would really like to say yes to this question but I don’t think I honestly can.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?

It’s a toss up.  I love doing whatever I want whenever I want without having to think of anyone else.  I love coming and going at my own schedule and not having to worry about other people.  But sometimes it’s a real drag to have to go to things by yourself all the time.  And it’s nice to have someone want to be with you simply because you’re you.

20. List 6 people to tag

I already said I wasn’t going to do this.  But feel free to take the tag and run with it.  Just let me know so I can take a peek.