This irks me. I can not tell you how many times I have gone into the bathroom here at work and seen women using it as their personal vanity. I’m not talking about quick touch ups with the hair or makeup but full on, didn’t bother to even try at home b/c I’m lazy so I’ll just do it at work. Entire makeup bags on the counter with products strewn all over. Spraying hairspray for us all to enjoy while they pin hair back. Even brushing their teeth in the sink. GROSS!! And the very latest I just encountered, a women cleaning her breast pumps! GO HOME!!! Leave so the rest of us can wash our hands in peace.
So today I was talking to a co-worker about work related things and out of the blue, totally out of context, he looks at me and says, “Can I have some of your milk?” To which my response was a blank stare followed by a “what?” Apparently he had brought in some cereal and wanted to borrow the milk I had in the fridge that I had forgotten about. So this got me thinking of other conversations I’ve had with my co-workers that have been misconstrued.
1. A while back my job description was changeing and I was going from being an assistant to having my own area. When my replacement started working, a co-worker said, “Wow. She’s like Natalie 2.0”. We’re really big Office fans and this was supposed to be in reference (I think) to when the girl comes in to sell purses and Michael says that “she’s like Pam 2.0” – an upgraded, improved, hotter version. Message received loud and clear.
2. A co-worker was helping me with a project I had been working on and I was stressing to him that it had to have certain specifications and he said, “Man, are you having a month moment or what?” And I thought, huh that’s a little inappropriate and none of your business. Turned out because of his thick Spanish accent I had misunderstood him and he had really said, “Man, are you having a Monk moment or what?” Of course in reference to the hyper-anal TV character on USA.
3. I was looking at some old 80’s wedding photos of a co-worker and we were commenting on the styles, specifically the hair (hers was permed, mine is natural curly) and she said “See Natalie. My hair used to look like yours.” Small break here followed by, “Nasty.” Well, good thing I own a straightener now isn’t?
4. I was talking with a co-worker about some things in the office when I realized that he had stopped listening to what I was saying but rather, was intensly reading what my shirt said. Maybe the shirt was faded? because it was taking him a little while to finish up. So I stopped mid-sentence and waited until he realized I wasn’t saying anything and when he looked up at me I looked down at my “shirt”, looked back up, cleared my throat, and pulled my labcoat closed.
5. My usual wardrob consists of usually black or darker colors and anything comfortable like sweatshirts, flip flops, baggy athletic pants, etc. One morning while getting ready, I had the urge to “dress up” a little. This consisted of a pink three quarter sleeved shirt with a collar and cuffs. Upon a arriving at work a co-worker exclaimed, “Oh. You look like a girl!” Hmm, as opposed to what I normally look like which would be….a boy?
6. A couple of years ago I was helping out with our company’s big international convention. I had previously been filmed in one of their promo videos advertising a new product. To my surprsie they used this video in the general meeting that included EVERYONE and in ALL of the workshops for our division. Naturally the only part of the video that was used was when it was just me taking up the full shot of the camera. We’re talking being displayed on theatre sized screens! The first time I saw it I let out an audible gasp and intake of breath followed by a NO WAY! The lady next to me said, “Oh don’t worry. You’re much cuter in person.” Gee. Thanks.
7. I was packing up some orders in boxes with a co-worker and it was looking like we weren’t going to make our deadline with the fleet service and we would have to drive them over personally. My co-worker turned to me and said, “Well you’ve got the biggest rear.” Seeing my puzzled look (and still not registering to him) he says, “Well you do. You have the largest trunk of all of us.” My response, “Yeah and my car holds a lot too.”