Hungry?…Yeah Not So Much

Over the weekend my sister made a surprise two day visit.  Since I didn’t really know she was coming, nothing was planned which was probably what she was hoping for.  On Saturday she did have an appointment to get her hair done from “her guy” of 12 years.  I went along and read a book for the…ahem, 3 HOURS… it took.  Afterward I was really hungry and didn’t want to wait the 30 min drive home until I got to eat.  So we set out trying to find a place where we were.  We settled on a small country looking place that my sister had heard of and was presumably known for their homestyle cooking.  Perfect!  I love chicken, mashed potatos, rolls, and veggies.

The building looked like it was a remodeled house turned restaurant from the 50s.  That is to say that they still had the same dingy carpet, lack of good lighting, and grody decorations.  It sort of had an American red, white, and blue theme going on – redneck, white trash, blue collar.  Nothing wrong with being blue collar, nothing whatsoever.  It’s the redneck and white trash you have to keep an eye out for.  We were seated by our teenage waitress (everyone that worked there was a teenage girl) and eventually gave our orders.  We both decided on chicken, mashed potatos, salad, roll for me and scone for my sister.  And we both said no, that we didn’t want gravy on our chicken for which our waitress looked at us like we were crazy and asked us again, double checking to see if we were serious I guess.

Out comes the salad and we dig in.  I’m about 2/3 of the way through the salad when the waitress brings out food to the people in the booth behind us.  I can’t see exactly what’s going on because my back is to them but I can hear the waitress say, “I’m not exactly sure how fresh this is going to be.  You’ll have to let me know.”  Uh, what??  My sister and I look at each other and without a word I set my fork down on my plate and push it to the middle of the table.  I’m thinking I can not believe she just said that about the food when my sister informs me she was referring to the coffee.  Oh, alrighty then, salad’s a go and I finished it up.

Then comes the actual food.  The waitress sets down the plate and informs us that she brought out the gravy in a side cup in case we changed our minds and then left.  So, ok, what the crap is this??  I now understand why she thought we were so weird not wanting gravy on our chicken.  Because it wasn’t really chicken like you would get from a regular restaurant, it’s country friend chicken patties.  Eww!  I have no doubt in my mind that had I walked back to the kitchen I would have found an entire freezer stocked full of Hungry Man Jack tv dinners because that’s essentially what she served us.  At least when they nuked it in the microwave they made sure to thaw the ice because it was so hot I couldn’t eat any of it for a couple of minutes.

Now onto the potatos.  There was a giant hole in the middle.  Remember as a kid when you made that hole like a volcano to put gravy in there?  Well that’s what our chef or waitress must have done because it was like looking into Mount St. Helens, only on my plate.  And they were incredibly yellow looking.  Which makes me wonder exactly how much butter they used in mashing these things.  An entire churn perhaps?  And to top it all off, they had a layer of crusty hardness on them.  As though they had been sitting out for a while.  Yum.  The best part about the meal was the honey butter and roll.  I could have eaten an entire meal consisting of just that.

Live and learn I guess.  I lived through the meal and learned not to eat there again.