I Should Stick to Saying NO

I’m going on a date this week because I didn’t say no and now I’m stuck.  Yesterday I met this guy who goes to my church.  Let me recap or better, what I should say is that before yesterday I didn’t know this guy existed on the planet.  We had a little of the get to know you small talk right before church started and he’s a nice guy.  As I’m leaving the building when church is over I happen to pass him in the hallway and he asks me what kinds of activities I like to do.  I’m completely taken off guard and am scrambling to come up with something other than the standard (and completely non helpful) “hang out with my friends”.  He tells me to think about it and he’ll give me a call later, he had to go to a meeting.  I barely walk in my door when he calls to see what I’ve come up with.  The only thing I could think of  is that I’ve gotten into hiking and landscape photography this past year but in my mind I don’t think this is going to be helpful to him because it’s about 115 degrees out and there’s no way I’m going hiking in that.  Unbeknownst to me, he’s an avid hiker and knows all these great spots some of which are good for night hiking.  At that moment I think night hiking could be fun and it would give me a chance to see a little bit of Arizona before I leave.  So it’s decided that we’re going on Tuesday at 5:30.  We end up chatting on the phone for another 15 min or so because he’s asking me more get to know you type questions.  I don’t mind talking on the phone.  As a matter of fact, if you’re family or a good friend I really enjoy it.  But I’ve only known of this guy’s existence for about 3 hours plus this is all good stuff to talk about when we’re actually together.

A couple of hours later I get a text message from him telling me about some people getting together to play games and hang out that night.  As I’m reading the message guess who calls?  He was just making sure I got the text because he wasn’t sure if I did texting or not.  I tell him I got it but I’m not going because I was packing.  Sure I was packing a little but the reality was that I just didn’t want to go.  We end of talking on the phone for about 10 min.  About 10 min after I hang up he calls again.  Oh for heaven’s sake.  Turns out he can’t go on Tuesday but could we change it to Wednesday?  Fine.  We’re on the phone for about another 20 min as he’s asking me questions about the type of landscapes I like to photograph.  Dude, I’m not professional.  I just like to mess around with it so I could care less what exactly the landscape looks like.  Finally we hang up.

Five minutes later my phone rings again.  JUDAS PRIEST  MAN!!!!!!  WHAT????  What more could you possibly need to say now???  This time he was asking if I had some of my pictures and maybe he could get an idea from my photos as to which spots would be good to shoot.  Again as my inner thoughts are flying through my brain I just keep thinking that it truly doesn’t matter where we go.  I’ve never been anywhere here in the state and the best thing about nature is that the same spot could look totally different from one day to the next.  Before I really knew what happened I had agreed that he could come over and look at my photos.  So 15 min later he was on my couch skimming through the photos on my laptop.  And the real kicker – he stayed for 2 1/2 hours.

Around 4:30 Sunday afternoon I thought some night hiking and the chance to take some landscape photos sounded like fun and was sort of looking forward to it.  Six hours later I’m sick of this guy and don’t want to go anywhere with him.  I’ve been trying to think of an excuse to use to get out of going.  One that actually sounds plausible and totally out of my control.  But I can’t think of anything.  And to be honest I sort of feel like a real jerk trying to get out of it.  More than a jerk, I feel like a complete tool.  He really is a nice guy and based on our brief conversations I get the drift that he has a lot of friends and likes going out and doing different things.  I truly think he’s trying to help make the most of my last week here but it was overkill.

However, it looks like I’ll most likely be going on this little excursion and you never know, it could be a lot of fun.  Or I could fall off a cliff and die.  Either way, the moral I’m taking from this story is to always first say no.  It’s much easier to change your mind from a no to a yes than the other way around.

I Don’t Have a Title for This Post

In my last post I wrote about dancing and how much I love it, even though I probably don’t know what I’m doing.  Well tonight I was on youtube watching 80’s music videos because, well let’s face it, they’re hilarious.  When somehow I linked onto this little gem:

I’ve never watched Kickboxer but now I’m thinking I might want to – hubba hubba.  I’m kidding, I think Van Damme is a creaton.  But this clip did make me laugh and those poor girls that had to dance with him and keep a straight face!  Man, I hope the pay was worth it.  This is one dance that I would have gladly volunteered to sit out.

Obviously I have a lot of time on my hands and while it’s been great for the most part, I’m feeling a little restless.  As I’ve been out and about I haven’t really seen any single people my age anywhere.  Where I lived in Utah there were young, single people EVERYWHERE.  Here, not so much.  I don’t even know where I’m supposed to go to find these people.  ASU is only 10 minutes away and there’s a community college less than a mile from my apartment, so…?  Granted when I “go out” it’s to a grocery or book store but don’t single people my age eat and read anymore?  I suppose they’re all out at bars or clubs but since I don’t drink it comes down to this: me + bars = smarmy drunk idiot that won’t leave me alone and I’m not the slightest bit buzzed so I’m completely aware of how gross he is.  Come on people, go buy a book for crying out loud.

So for fun I typed in ‘singles mesa’ into google to see what would pop up.  Naturally, dating sites were right at my finger tips.  No way was I going to sign up – if you have, then I think that’s great but as for me, well…not today.  But I was able to view  the profiles that were on the front page without having to do anything other than click a button and after perusing the different sites I noticed something that made me pause a little.  First of all, let me say that I know I probably have an abnormal view of “appropriate” dating ages.  I do notice that the older I get the more willing I am to fudge the number older than me while keeping a tight reign on the younger number.  I have no interest in going out with a guy younger than 28  but going in the other direction, I don’t know 35 I guess.  Some of you may think that’s still not much of a range but hey, I just said I probably have an abnormal view.

I’m looking at these profiles and I’m noticing that guys about my age put 12-14+ year range on their profile.  Twelve to fourteen plus years in ONE direction.  So it was common to see a guy age 38 wanting to go out with someone as young as 22 and in a lot of cases 18.  Are you serious? Ok, 1.)  Do you really think an 18 year old wants to go out with you?  When I was 18 any guy over the age of 22 seemed almost ancient.  But 38?  You’re  2 decades older, what could you possibly have in common, other than your own daughter who she probably sits next to in Algebra? and 2.)  What’s wrong with girls your own age?  What is so secondary about wanting to go out with a girl who is, oh I don’t know, 29 as opposed to a 21 year old?

Somewhere I missed the memo because as I said, when I was younger there seemed to be such a division among my age and just a few years older.  We were thought to just be immature kids but now that I’m older, barely legal seems to be the hot ticket item.  Last week I went to a high school play my friend directed and from what I observed, girls that age acted like nothing more than fruit flavored lip gloss and cotton candy fluff.  *shrug shoulders* I just don’t get it.

Well that was a rant I never intended to have.  I’m going to go back up and have another look at Van Damme’s mad dancing skills and maybe I’ll learn a few pointers to take to a club….or maybe not.