Am I Already Out of Touch?

I’m 32 years old.  I’d like to think I still have a pulse on what the kids are into these days.  Sometimes the pulse may be a little hard to find like you look over at your great Aunt Mable and she appears unresponsive, so you start performing CPR only to discover she was just resting her eyes half way between a bite of mashed potatoes and peas.  Hard to find or not, it’s there.  For the most part I can turn on the radio and tell you the song and artist that’s being played.  I have an entire IMDB library in my head and can spout off random and completely useless facts that benefit absolutely no one about various celebrities.  I’m so fashion forward I CHOOSE to only wear sweats because I don’t want to induce a frenzied riot in Walmart while I’m buying a gallon of milk and not because I fell asleep in them the night before and figure with a baseball hat no one will be able to tell the difference.  But I digress.

One of my assignments for my c lass in a few weeks is to create a glogster.  That’s glogster with two Gs, not to be confused with globster which is what I kept referring to it as.  Just so you know, according to Wikipedia a globster is “an unidentified organic mass that washes up on the shoreline of an ocean or other body of water.”

(you know it’s real because the picture is black and white)

 

You know what else I learned from Wikipedia?  What a glogster is.  How sad is that?  I’m on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, not 1 but 2 blogs, Flickr, and probably a whole host of stuff I can’t even remember.  But I had to look up the definition of what a glogster is after my forty something year old professor with no kids told me to create one for class.

Good grief.

I Don’t Have a Title for This Post

In my last post I wrote about dancing and how much I love it, even though I probably don’t know what I’m doing.  Well tonight I was on youtube watching 80’s music videos because, well let’s face it, they’re hilarious.  When somehow I linked onto this little gem:

I’ve never watched Kickboxer but now I’m thinking I might want to – hubba hubba.  I’m kidding, I think Van Damme is a creaton.  But this clip did make me laugh and those poor girls that had to dance with him and keep a straight face!  Man, I hope the pay was worth it.  This is one dance that I would have gladly volunteered to sit out.

Obviously I have a lot of time on my hands and while it’s been great for the most part, I’m feeling a little restless.  As I’ve been out and about I haven’t really seen any single people my age anywhere.  Where I lived in Utah there were young, single people EVERYWHERE.  Here, not so much.  I don’t even know where I’m supposed to go to find these people.  ASU is only 10 minutes away and there’s a community college less than a mile from my apartment, so…?  Granted when I “go out” it’s to a grocery or book store but don’t single people my age eat and read anymore?  I suppose they’re all out at bars or clubs but since I don’t drink it comes down to this: me + bars = smarmy drunk idiot that won’t leave me alone and I’m not the slightest bit buzzed so I’m completely aware of how gross he is.  Come on people, go buy a book for crying out loud.

So for fun I typed in ‘singles mesa’ into google to see what would pop up.  Naturally, dating sites were right at my finger tips.  No way was I going to sign up – if you have, then I think that’s great but as for me, well…not today.  But I was able to view  the profiles that were on the front page without having to do anything other than click a button and after perusing the different sites I noticed something that made me pause a little.  First of all, let me say that I know I probably have an abnormal view of “appropriate” dating ages.  I do notice that the older I get the more willing I am to fudge the number older than me while keeping a tight reign on the younger number.  I have no interest in going out with a guy younger than 28  but going in the other direction, I don’t know 35 I guess.  Some of you may think that’s still not much of a range but hey, I just said I probably have an abnormal view.

I’m looking at these profiles and I’m noticing that guys about my age put 12-14+ year range on their profile.  Twelve to fourteen plus years in ONE direction.  So it was common to see a guy age 38 wanting to go out with someone as young as 22 and in a lot of cases 18.  Are you serious? Ok, 1.)  Do you really think an 18 year old wants to go out with you?  When I was 18 any guy over the age of 22 seemed almost ancient.  But 38?  You’re  2 decades older, what could you possibly have in common, other than your own daughter who she probably sits next to in Algebra? and 2.)  What’s wrong with girls your own age?  What is so secondary about wanting to go out with a girl who is, oh I don’t know, 29 as opposed to a 21 year old?

Somewhere I missed the memo because as I said, when I was younger there seemed to be such a division among my age and just a few years older.  We were thought to just be immature kids but now that I’m older, barely legal seems to be the hot ticket item.  Last week I went to a high school play my friend directed and from what I observed, girls that age acted like nothing more than fruit flavored lip gloss and cotton candy fluff.  *shrug shoulders* I just don’t get it.

Well that was a rant I never intended to have.  I’m going to go back up and have another look at Van Damme’s mad dancing skills and maybe I’ll learn a few pointers to take to a club….or maybe not.