Alrighty Then

I got a message from someone (ahem DJD) to update this little diddy of a blog and I told him I would by the weekend because I thought for sure I could think up enough fodder from the past two months to write about.  Well…I’m not so sure.  Now that it is officially fall (it is officially fall right?) there is a holiday smell in the air and a little bounce in my step.  Spring/Summer are my favorite seasons but let’s face it, this past year felt like living in a crematorium so I welcome the lower temps and humidity.  Not just welcome them, I have a spare bed and bath reserved and am prepared to be at their beck and call if they promise to stick around for a while.

We have now started the months of uppers – October, November, December – when everyone starts being nice and a little more charitable which will be followed by the months of downers – January and February – when everyone is annoyed and irritable.  Ok maybe that’s just me.  Regardless we’re in an upper and I’m actually excited it’s October.  Colors will start becoming vibrant and of course Halloween is merely a few weeks away.

I won’t even attempt to write an entry on Halloween because compared to some of you who are Halloween enthusiasts, my entry would be pathetic and sad.  And admittedly I haven’t always been so jazzed about it.   I think working at a preschool has definitely helped.  There are just so many cute crafts and songs and the kids are uber pumped about dressing up.  Yesterday we went on a field trip to a pumpkin patch and I was probably more excited than they were.

Our school Halloween party is a week from tomorrow and I’m still trying to put together my costume.  Last year I went as a Ninja Turtle and this year I want to go as a Ghostbuster.  I’m borrowing a pack back vacuum to serve as my proton pack but am having a hard time locating a jumpsuit to wear.  Today a friend said he would mail me one of his old flight suits from when he was in the Marine Corps which would be perfect but I’m a little nervous it won’t get here in time.  Fingers crossed.

This year I’m even planning on helping to decorate the outside of the house and have already bought a few things to get the ball rolling.  Who knows, with this festive attitude I may even go to a haunted house.  Yeah right.  I had a traumatic experience (oh it was traumatic alright don’t you worry, that is if you’re a wimpy 10 year old girl) when I was in the 6th grade and have never gotten over it.  I tried going to one in the 9th grade but it didn’t work out to well and I break into a sweat and start having heart palpitations just thinking about it.

There won’t be any watching of scary movies either as I will most likely stick to the lame TV crap available on ABC Family this holiday season.  Baby steps, baby steps.  I “watched” Quarantine a few months ago but that viewing was done at high noon through my fingers with the remote firmly in hand ready to change the channel with the click of a button.  I also tried to watch The Strangers but only made it about 2/3rds of the way through.  Had to read the ending on IMDB.  A wimp I am.

On to something happier about the fall season, I made caramel apples today and am going to get apples tomorrow to make applesauce.  And while I’m mentioning food, I made some homemade chicken noodle soup last weekend that was to die for.  Another great thing about fall, hearty soups and a kitchen that smells heavenly.  Well there you have it.  Stay tuned this next week for pics of (cross your fingers) my ghostbuster costume.

I’m Chaneling Weezy

I went to the doctor and he said I didn’t have strep but an over the top sinus infection.  Whatever.  In the meantime I have almost completely lost my voice and sound a lot like this guy before they popped in his new batteries.

I could really use some new ones right about now too.

I’m Not a Productive Person but I Play One on TV

For the past two weeks I’ve had Back to the Future Syndrome.  Usually this is when you move back home after a year or more and it feels as though you never left but you can’t remember being there.  And things have changed while you were gone but since it feels like you never left, you aren’t sure when all the changes could have happened.  And there you have the final scene when Michael J. Fox wakes up after only a night and yet a week had passed and nothing was as it was before: Back to the Future Syndrome.

Well I haven’t gone anywhere but the days have gone by so fast, I can’t really remember them.  And yet I was here.  Maybe it’s a Back to the Future in reverse.  Or sideways.  Maybe I’m actually in an episode of Lost.

What I can sort of remember is that my brother was in town for a week during semesters at school.  Has he really been gone four months already??  I’m still around kids ALL THE TIME which has really just blurred into a collage of sand, snot, building blocks, and funny conversations.  Earth Day was yesterday and I helped the kids create the Earth in art form using blue/green paint, a magnet, a coffee filter, and a save the Earth sticker.  It was as though I had transformed into a craft version of Macgyver.

I’ve been tanning so I no longer have to write CLEAR on forms that ask what race I am.  And I got my hair highlighted this past week and absolutely love it.  I don’t know why I don’t get my hair done more often.  I come out of there feeling like the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I’ve been feeling so good the past few days I’ve been bust’n a move to old school Madonna in my car.  You’re welcome people I pass on the road.  Road workers outside my neighborhood, I’m talking specifically to you.

I spent a few hours this week laying sod (thank you tetris for giving me mad skills that finally came in handy – I knew you weren’t a waste of time) and tomorrow I’m going to donate blood so my “humanitarian” efforts for the week can be checked.  I also made 5 dozen cookies and have dough to make another two – just thought I would randomly throw that in there.  This time next week I’m going to be back in Illinois visiting my sister and her family with my mom.  Next weekend is also Toad Suck Daze here and for those (all of you) who don’t know what that is don’t worry, I’ll explain in my next post.  But speaking of traveling, my family has been trying to get a mega trip together this summer.  I don’t know all the details yet but I can tell you it looks like I’ll be going from Arkansas to Utah to Idaho to Utah to Idaho to Utah to California possibly back to Utah or if not back to Arkansas.  All in two weeks.  And I’m trying to squeeze a side trip of my own in there to Spokane for a few days.  If you feel like contributing to that fund by all means, go with those feelings and help a fellow blogger out.  No?  Well, you can’t fault me for asking.

Oh and did I mention I’m sort of thinking about going back to school?  Oh how I love that I can make my life seem more busy and productive than it really is.

Bumpits, Alien Babies, and Some News

I’m not a big fan of watching the news.  The stories are rarely positive and uplifting and I figure I can scan the news blips on the internet faster than sitting and listening to them drone on.  But a few weeks ago I was flipping through the channels and noticed something I hadn’t before.  When did news anchors become the official unofficial models for the bumpit?  I became mesmerized by this lady’s large growth coming out of her head.  And it wasn’t just that network.  All the stations had at least one anchor that could use her hair as an extra locker to keep her purse.

Speaking of, remember Debbie Harry’s character in the original Hairspray movie?  She kept a bomb in hers.  And Ricki Lake was busted out of jail in time to dance a new dance she called the bug while wearing a pink dress with roaches all over it?  I have to buy that movie!

Anyway, between news anchors and the women of Utah and Idaho, bumpits are well on their way to world domination.  She looked an awful lot like this girl:

And the more I stared, the more I started making other connections:

I have no idea what it means yet but I’m sure I’m on the verge of cracking some great conspiracy.

Ever notice how alien faces look like newborn baby faces?  I’m talking straight out of the womb, still covered in goo baby faces.  This is an underlying concern I have, should I ever have kids of my own.  I don’t know if I’ll want to look at it right away.  I may have to wear Ellen Degeneres blindfolds while I’m giving birth just to cover my bases.

Maybe this is the real reason women are required to stay in the hospital so long after delivery, to give the kid a chance to morph into a more human looking form so parents won’t be freaked to take them home.  I’m just saying.

I tried in vain to find a picture of the local news anchor that inspired this entry but I couldn’t.  It didn’t help that I couldn’t remember her name or which station she works for but those are just minor details.  So instead I found something else that I’ll leave you with.  I thought this was so hysterical I watched this clip over and over for at least twenty minutes.  Enjoy.

Ashlee Simpson You’re an Idiot…and Other Observations

1.  I was reading a quote by Ashlee Simpson the other day where she says the only thing she does to maintain her figure is to chase her kid around and that her arms are defined because she’s constantly holding him.  *blank stares and crickets chirping*  Are you serious right now?  First of all, you’re arms aren’t that defined for crying out loud.  But besides that, there is no way you’re as thin as you are because you chase your kid all day.  That’s ridiculous.  It’s annoying when celebrities say crap like this.  I help out at a daycare twice a week for a few hours and trust me, I haven’t lost an ounce being out there keeping up with 16 kids.  True it’s just for a few hours a week but16 trumps your one, trust me.  I’m just saying.

2.  Unless you’re a hot, single guy my age or someone at least 10 or 15 years older than me, please don’t call me sweetie, honey, sugar, or anything related to that.  I went to buy jeans over the weekend and the sales girls kept saying things like, “Do you have everything you need sweetie?”  “Hon can I get you anything else?”  Now I do realize I’m in the south and that’s part of vocabulary here, but it’s weird coming from someone younger.

3.  Why did the movie 2012 come out this year?  Wouldn’t it be more effective to come out in 2012?  I don’t have any sarcastic, snarky comments about this.  I’m genuinely curious.

4. Ever notice on cop shows people are constantly walking away from the police when they’re being questioned?  Usually they say something like, “If you’ll excuse me I have work to do” and then they leave.  Does this really happen?  I would think that if I was being questioned by police for something I would stay put until they tell me they’re through.  But maybe that’s just me.

5.  Kids. Hear. Everything.  And then they repeat it.  Helping out at this daycare and working with the kids at church, I’m constantly amazed and the things they’re saying.  Not because they’re repeating things that are bad, but because it’s usually the most random stuff that you know their parents never thought they heard.  It’s kind of funny sometimes.  Mostly because they aren’t my kids.

6.  Tyra Banks was on Jay Leno tonight and it reminded me once again just how funny Joel McHale can be on The Soup.  The show is basically him making fun of moments on reality TV (Tyra and The View being two of his favorites to pick on).  But honestly, Tyra just asks for it. I’d be surprised if some part of tonight’s segment isn’t made fun of by Joel. I couldn’t believe he was actually invited on The View as a legitimate guest a little while back.  The first questioned asked was why he makes fun of their show on his.  His response, “Have you seen your show?”  haha  I love it.

*sigh*  I need some new hobbies.

Happy Birthday Mom!

In a couple of hours it’ll be my mother’s birthday!  I tell her I’m what keeps her so young, but she just rolls her eyes and says yeah right.  I’m glad I’m able to talk with her about most anything and that she’s even willing to indulge me in doing things I want to do, even if she thinks they’re lame.

Just the other night I convinced her to watch The Lost Boys with me and though she kept repeating that the movie was dumb and she didn’t like it (how anyone could not like that movie is beyond me) she did laugh a few times and stayed to watched the whole thing.  Now if I could just get her to stay awake during Wayne’s World…

I love that on occasion she’ll say the word suck in conversation and the other day she used the word freak’n in a sentence.  Never in my life have I ever heard her say that and if you knew my mom you would know just how funny that is.  I love it and it makes me smile.

There’s so much she does for me, and mom, I want you to know that I appreciate all of it.  I love you!!

* I just had her read this and her reaction was “Oh brother” when she saw the entry was about her, “Yeah right” when she read the part about Wayne’s World, and “You forgot a comma.” (laughing the whole time of course)   haha  I love it.

Random Tidbits

Here’s another post with the random updates from my life over the past week or so.  I finalized my decision to move back home to Arkansas and have been trying to get everything organized for that move.  If I didn’t own furniture life would be a lot simpler for me right now.  But I do so I’m trying to coordinate with a moving company and people that can help me load it up.  I’m a little nervous about finding help but I keep trying to tell myself not to worry about it until the day before I move because there isn’t much I can do before then.  And it’s not like I’ll be stranded here in Mesa for the rest of my life because I couldn’t load the moving truck.  Somehow it will all work out.

I spoke in church again today.  I say again as though I speak every Sunday – which I don’t.  Matter of fact the last time I did was a year ago but this past year has passed so quickly it feels like I just did it.  Since I live in another state then I did last year, I decided to repeat the same talk to the folks here.  No point in coming up with something new when the old one worked just fine.  I think I’m funnier in person telling stories than I am writing them here.  For those of you who don’t think I’m funny or that this blog is entertaining, to you I stick out my tongue and say THPPPP  and for those of you who already think I’m funny I say “It’s true.  Hard to believe but I’m better live.”  I got a handful of laughs and that’s really all I could ask for.

Last night I jammed my finger trying to kill a cricket in a sports injury.  Ok fine, I was trying to kill a cricket that found it’s way into my room.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened but the next thing I knew my finger bent back and now it’s swollen and bruised.  Stupid cricket.  And to add insult to injury, the cricket made it’s way behind my dresser where I couldn’t get at it.  Cricket = 1  Nandango = 0.  This morning I woke up to find the cricket still in my room near my bed, as though it were taunting me.  With my finger still painfully sore I decided that he had messed with the wrong human and that this was war.  Several shoe throws later he was dead.  Take that cricket.

I had been wanting to go out and take some nature shots but wasn’t exactly sure where I could go and didn’t want to spend the gas money driving all around the state either.  A friend suggest a local nature reserve by her house that she had passed numerous times but had never stopped to look around.  It wasn’t all that fascinating but was surprisingly large for being in a semi-residential area.  I did manage to get some shots and it was nice to get out of my apartment.  Afterward she wanted to go see a movie.  This is fine because I like movies.  I want to interject here and ask did you know that it’s $10 to see a movie??  And I’ll assume that in larger cities it’s more but holy cripes!  I generally stick to the dollar theaters or redbox.  What is all that money going toward anyway?  It’s not like the movies all that much better than they used to be.  The food (which I never buy) I assume is still crappy.  I don’t think the seats are that much more comfortable and the whole place is dark so it’s not like I’m checking out the decor.  And I really hate the commercials they play before the previews.  What happened to Front Row Joe?  They used to have a cartoon with him in it complete with a song and everything.

Anyway, she suggests a movie and in my mind I’m thinking please don’t say you want to see My Sister’s Keeper.  Please don’t want to see My Sister’s Keeper.  That of course is the movie she wants to see.  Great.  It’s not like I thought it was going to be the worst movie on the planet but I’m sure there are other movies playing that I would rather spend my $10 on.  And besides, I don’t like Cameron Diaz.  I knew this was going to be a sad movie and sure enough the entire theater was like one giant snot fest.  You could hear people sniffling through the whole thing and when it was over just about every woman in the place had a kleenex.  I can only imagine what people outside the door where thinking when they saw everyone come out with red, blotchy, puffy faces.  I tuned out the last 20 min or so of the movie and stared at the chair in front of me in hopes I could pull it together before we walked out.  And I really felt bad for the few guys that were dragged there by their girlfriends.  I concluded that they either did something incredibly wrong and this was their punishment or they were planning on doing something incredibly wrong and were storing up on the brownie points.

Well that’s basically been my last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  Mixed with reading books and watching my own DVDs over and over.  Just think, two weeks from today I’ll be writing my entries from home in Arkansas.  Crazy all the things that can happen in a year.

Dusting Off the ‘Ol VCR

Afternoons seem to be the longest part of my day and while I love reading, books are starting to become synonymous with naps.  And since Jerry Springer and Tyra aren’t really my style, I’ve been picking a movie from my VHS archive to watch everyday.  A few years ago my older sister gave me close to 30 of them because I still had a working VCR and they were promptly placed in one of the cabinets in my entertainment center never to be seen until now.  I’ve watched my DVDs so many times I might be able to write entire scripts from memory and as I was pulling them out yet again I remembered the old tapes.  It was like finding random junk at a garage sale you didn’t know you needed until you saw it.  I had completely forgotten (and maybe for a good reason) what movies I had under there.  Some of them I hadn’t seen since they had originally come out sometime in the early to mid 90’s.

1.  The Fugitive:  Wasn’t this a big deal when it came out?  It seems I remember this being a blockbuster but maybe I’m wrong.  I also remember there being a flux of movies staring Harrison Ford that came out around this same time all with the same basic kind of plot.  And speaking of the same, has Tommy Lee Jones ever been a different character?  I mean seriously!  The dude is always the tough crusty old man working for the government but a real softy on the inside.  Expand your horizons would ya?  Oh wait, scratch that.  He played Two Face in Batman Forever.  On second thought, stick to what you know best.

2.  Forever Young:  Talk about young, Mel Gibson doesn’t look that much older than me in this movie.  Though it was Elijah Wood that stole the show.  When this came out I thought he was going to grow up to be an incredible actor.  And maybe he is but all I’ll ever see him as is a hobbit.  And not just any hobbit, but the one that really got on my nerves for 9 hours.  The makeup the put on Mel at the end to make him look old was funny at first, then kind of gross, then just plain scary.  I’m betting their hair and makeup people didn’t win any awards.

3.  Little Women:  Dull and boring.  I think this was the movie I paused to get something to drink and ended up doing my dishes.  And I kept thinking “Geez, Kirstin Dunst was even annoying as a kid for crying out loud.”  And I discovered that in the 90’s I had the same hair as Laurie.  Don’t remember who Laurie was?  Well it was their neighbor…who was a boy.

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That’s Christian Bale and not me in case anyone wasn’t sure.  But trust me, the hairstyle was the same.

4.  Teen Wolf:  This movie is so bad it’s kind of funny.  My favorite is when his dad becomes a wolf.  He looks like a gerbil on steroids.  I wonder if this is the same make up crew they used on Forever Young, it wouldn’t surprise me.

5.  3 Musketeers:  Now this was a good movie.  Chris O’Donnell not so much but Kiefer Sutherland?  Oliver Platt?  Even Charlie Sheen had some funny lines.  And I know you’re supposed to hate the bad guys but how can you hate Tim Curry?  They even had the Quaker Oats peaches and cream guy playing the King of France.  Oh wait, that wasn’t him?  Close enough.  And here’s for a bonus, remember that mega power ballad by Rod Stewart, Brian Adams, and Sting they sang for the soundtrack?  All for Love?  Well I do, they played it at every jr. high/high school/church dance that year.  For your enjoyment and viewing pleasure, they put the music video on the tape as a precursor to the movie.  Can you believe it?  This was before DVDs and special features.  Talk about fancy.

Some of the movies I’ll be watching next include Cool Runnings, Kindergarden Cop, Forrest Gump, and Batman Forever.  Yes, that Batman that showcases Tommy Lee Jones’ breakthrough role as something other than a grumpy government worker.  I can hardly wait.

Million Dollar Question

I was wandering around Target this afternoon and made my usual stop at the movies to see if there were any exceptional deals going on (there weren’t by the way).  I was completely lost in the world of cinema when I heard a female ask in a very baby voice, “Do you think you’ll want to pee in this one?  Or do you think you’ll want to pee in this one?”  Uh….and that’s when I looked up and discovered that the movies were next to the baby section and the lady wasn’t talking to me at all.  Phew.  That was a close one.

Valentine Weekend

This was a super Valentine weekend because my brother drove down from Idaho to spend it with me.  Whoo hoo!  I haven’t seen him since early January and now that I’m moving I’m not sure when we’ll be able to hang out again so I was glad he was able to make the drive down.  Here he is:

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Since he got here we’ve been mostly just hanging out, not doing too much.  He brought Rock Band which I’ve always wanted to play but until this weekend had never done so.  My inner rock goddess emerged and I’m quite certain the block will be lined up with people just itching to get into my band that I form when I get to Mesa.  Just kidding – I totally SUCK!!  My version of drum playing resembled a toddler sitting on the kitchen floor banging on pots and pans.  As long as I kept the level on easy I was pretty so so on the guitar.  Once I switched to medium the only song I didn’t fail and get booted off the stage on was Eye of the Tiger, and that’s only because even on the second level you only had to play one note at a time.  My singing scores were the highest but before you start clearing your TV schedule to watch me on American Idol next year, you should know that as long as I was making noise when the notes came up I got points.

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Since it was Valentine’s Day we had to do our part to celebrate.  So, we made heart shaped sugar cookies:

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Yummy!  Now it’s not that I have anything against Valentine’s Day, I just thought these cookies would be a little more fun to have if they looked like this:

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Double yummy!  What could look better than grimmy, grody, gray colored heart cookies with special, personalized messages written on them?

We also went to the movies and saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  Kind of lame but it had a couple of funny moments.  Basically that’s been the weekend so far and I’m lovin it.  Hope you all had a great Valentine weekend!