Where Football is King

If I’ve learned anything from living in the south, it’s you don’t kid when it comes to football.  Want to know where people are on a Friday night between September and November?  Check the high school football field (they even made an entire TV show about a southern high school football team for crying out loud).  When I was in high school I think the team was made up of about 400 guys out of oh, I don’t know 401.  I think the requirements to be on the team were (1) that you had to be male and (2) at least partially breathing.

For a while the high school stadium was bigger and better than the university’s and they seemed to always be expanding and adding on.  Plus the football team got new uniforms every year and were taken out for steak dinners at the end of season regardless of their record for the year.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Bitter, party of one?”  And you know what?  I am bitter.  We girls on the track team were wearing outfits circa 1982 and had about 15 min to run in, grab some dinner from McDonalds and then head back on the short bus to eat it.  And when I graduated girls track had been conference champions every year since the early 80s and had taken state more times than not.  The football team?  Not even close.

A week from today I’ll be starting grad school and to be honest, if I think about it I get nervous.  So I prefer not to.  A little denial never hurt anyone right?  But I have had to go the rounds with the financial aid office because it became apparent communication wasn’t their strong suit.  Going over fees I came across this:  Mandatory Registration Fees – $405.50.  Er, I’m sorry how much was that?  For a second I thought I read over four hundred dollars in fees.  Oh wait, I did??  So I continue reading to see what these mandatory fees include.  Stuff like campus radio (uh, ok), student health center, student center, blah blah blah.  None of these are more than $15 so where is my money going?  And then I read it:

“For this fiscal year, certain of the mandatory fees have an

administrative charge assessed on them.  This administrative

charge will be used this fiscal year to support UCA’s transition

to NCAA Division 1.”

Translation:  You have to pay $400 more dollars so UCA football can compete in a higher division.

WHAT???  AGHHH!!!!! Are you KIDDING me right now?  (Nope, remember they don’t kid about football)  And the real kicker is that they used to have this money.  But a few years ago they hired a new president who ended up embezzling hundreds of thousands of the university’s money and despite that, they still gave him a 6 figure pay out because he stepped down before his contract was up.  Smooth. Real smooth.

So it looks like things haven’t changed much from where they were 13 years ago.  Football apparently still rules, only now I’m out an additional $405.50 because of it.


Hold the Onions and Hair Please

Tonight my mom and I swung by Sonic and I ordered a Jr. Delux Burger and some tater tots.  When I got home, I discovered two things about my burger:  1.  The meat was missing and 2. There was a hair where my meat should have been.

I was a little annoyed but didn’t want to drive back to correct a $1 burger.  But then my stomach growled and I really did want that burger, so back to Sonic I went.

On the drive over I was thinking about the situation and what I was going to have to tell them and started to laugh.  Sure it’s gross but to not get any meat on a burger?  Seriously, who gets orders like that?  Oh right, I do.

I pulled in and pressed their little red button and the following conversation happened:

(perky high school girl voice) Welcome to Sonic.  May I take your order?

(my dry sarcastic boss from Office Space voice)  Yeah, I was just here and ordered a Jr. Delux Burger.  It was missing the meat but it did come with a hair.  So… I’d like a new burger.  One with meat but minus the hair.  That would be great.  Thanks.

I would almost pay money to have been inside to hear me say that over the intercom.  Imagining the looks on their faces will have to do I guess.

I’m Not a Productive Person but I Play One on TV

For the past two weeks I’ve had Back to the Future Syndrome.  Usually this is when you move back home after a year or more and it feels as though you never left but you can’t remember being there.  And things have changed while you were gone but since it feels like you never left, you aren’t sure when all the changes could have happened.  And there you have the final scene when Michael J. Fox wakes up after only a night and yet a week had passed and nothing was as it was before: Back to the Future Syndrome.

Well I haven’t gone anywhere but the days have gone by so fast, I can’t really remember them.  And yet I was here.  Maybe it’s a Back to the Future in reverse.  Or sideways.  Maybe I’m actually in an episode of Lost.

What I can sort of remember is that my brother was in town for a week during semesters at school.  Has he really been gone four months already??  I’m still around kids ALL THE TIME which has really just blurred into a collage of sand, snot, building blocks, and funny conversations.  Earth Day was yesterday and I helped the kids create the Earth in art form using blue/green paint, a magnet, a coffee filter, and a save the Earth sticker.  It was as though I had transformed into a craft version of Macgyver.

I’ve been tanning so I no longer have to write CLEAR on forms that ask what race I am.  And I got my hair highlighted this past week and absolutely love it.  I don’t know why I don’t get my hair done more often.  I come out of there feeling like the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I’ve been feeling so good the past few days I’ve been bust’n a move to old school Madonna in my car.  You’re welcome people I pass on the road.  Road workers outside my neighborhood, I’m talking specifically to you.

I spent a few hours this week laying sod (thank you tetris for giving me mad skills that finally came in handy – I knew you weren’t a waste of time) and tomorrow I’m going to donate blood so my “humanitarian” efforts for the week can be checked.  I also made 5 dozen cookies and have dough to make another two – just thought I would randomly throw that in there.  This time next week I’m going to be back in Illinois visiting my sister and her family with my mom.  Next weekend is also Toad Suck Daze here and for those (all of you) who don’t know what that is don’t worry, I’ll explain in my next post.  But speaking of traveling, my family has been trying to get a mega trip together this summer.  I don’t know all the details yet but I can tell you it looks like I’ll be going from Arkansas to Utah to Idaho to Utah to Idaho to Utah to California possibly back to Utah or if not back to Arkansas.  All in two weeks.  And I’m trying to squeeze a side trip of my own in there to Spokane for a few days.  If you feel like contributing to that fund by all means, go with those feelings and help a fellow blogger out.  No?  Well, you can’t fault me for asking.

Oh and did I mention I’m sort of thinking about going back to school?  Oh how I love that I can make my life seem more busy and productive than it really is.

A Good Day

Picture this, it’s about 80 degrees out with a slight breeze with little to no humidity.  The smell of grass being cut is in the air (I happen to really like that smell) and Bob Marley is serenading me on my Ipod as I walk around my neighborhood.

The lady whose pre-school/daycare I helped out at a couple of months ago asked if I could start back up again in a couple of weeks after her daughter leaves for school.  AND I have an interview at another school on Monday to see about doing some part time work there.  No promises on that but an interview is more than I’ve had in over a year.  Neither are my dream jobs but I’ll take them both.  And do so with a smile, work is work and money is money after all.

Then I found out this afternoon that I’m getting money back from my taxes.  I was fairly certain I wouldn’t get anything and almost just as certain I would end up owing some.  A good day indeed.

The only thing that could make today better would be to head to the ball park and take in a game while munching on a hot dog.  Ahh, spring, I love you.

Career Options

It’s no secret that I’ve been out of a job for a little over a year.  And it’s no secret that I’m not too sad about this.  However, the numbers in my bank account are getting smaller and since spring is coming quickly and I need money to buy a tanning pass, I’ve been thinking of what I could do for work.

Give me a C!  Give me an H!  Give me an E E R!  What’s that spell?  I don’t know because I’m only four!  Yeah!

What little girl wouldn’t be a professional cheerleader given the option?  You get to run around and dance, wear sparkly clothes, and shake noisy plastic ribbons around.  And as an adult, if you can look past the fact you have to run around and dance, wear sparkly clothes, and shake noisy plastic ribbons around, it could be a perfect job.  I bet the association even pays for the tanning.

Ok, so it’s not EXACTLY a bull but that plastic Dumbo served it’s purpose.  If only it hadn’t popped and leaked air, you could be reading the blog of a fearless bull rider right now.

Still trying to keep the rodeo dream alive.  This one could have totally worked except for two things 1) I did not own a horse and  2) I did not own a pair of cowboy boots.  It’s just not the same in sneakers.

Bet you can’t guess what I going for in this picture.

Told you, you couldn’t guess.  Peter Jackson wouldn’t return any of my calls but I know I could have played a better Legolas.  Unlike Orlando, my hair was real.

…everything i wanna do has already been done.
why would i wanna go and do it again?
everybody…plays guitar.  -Reel Big Fish

And that’s why I went with the plastic trumpet.  Gotta keep it fresh, ya know!  Naturally my aim was to be the guy who plays at the start of the horse races

And don’t think his snazzy outfit intimidated me.  No sir, I did what I could by accessorizing my trumpet with not only my own outfit but with my mom’s next to me.  I don’t see how this one could have failed.

Ooh yeah, the money shot!  I was born to be a rock star.  Check out my ubber cool tutu I was stylin back in the day.  Take that Avrail Lavine, I was rocking this look long before you were born.

I was just too ahead of my time.

It’s a Boy…or a Girl

When I was born, my mom set up a Gerber Life Insurance plan in my name.  Every few months or so I get mail updating me on different plans and updates to the company.  A few days ago I got another one and my mom opened it, as she usually does, to double check it’s junk mail before trashing it.  This is what it said:

Dear Natalie,

As a loving parent, you want to do everything you can to give your children a head start in life.  That’s why you gave your child the valuable gift of a Gerber Life Grow-Up Plan.  Your thoughtful decision will help provide your child with a brighter financial future.

If you’ve recently welcomed another child, please accept our congratulations!  Now you have the opportunity to start all your children out right with the special gift of a Gerber Life Grow-Up Plan.

It then goes on to tell me about the different plan options I can chose for my child.  Only one thing though, I don’t have any children.  I have not recently welcomed a child much less ANOTHER one.  I’m not a loving parent and I didn’t give a child the valuable gift of a Gerber Life Grow-Up Plan.  Does Gerber know something I don’t?  Man, I really hope not.  But just in case they do, does this mean I can take a child deduction in my tax return for more money?

Sigh of Relief

I’m back home in Arkansas and the trip was completely uneventful and boring and I couldn’t be more happy about it.  I just knew something would happen because I didn’t have a license.  In trips past I’ve almost run over a litter of puppies playing on a back road after a snow storm and almost hit a drunk man walking across the highway in the dark after a down pour.  This time we didn’t see a single drop of rain or snowflake.  Oh and there was no drunk man or puppies playing in the road either.  I got a new license yesterday and it only cost me $10 and I didn’t have to take another picture which I was happy about.  And no charges went on my debit card before I cancelled it which means my wallet probably wasn’t stolen but is somewhere in my car even though I searched it from top to bottom.  AND I got to meet my brother’s girlfriend for the first time.  I haven’t spent a lot of time with her but so far I give two thumbs up. Really nice and cute girl.  And much better than the troll he was dating before (never actually met her but heard enough to form my own conclusion).  So there you have it, a brief hello to let everyone know I made it without any problems.

Little Surprises

I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now but I’ve been in a rut…again.  I’m STILL unemployed which on one hand is kind of nice because I can do whatever during the day but sucks obviously, because I have no money.  So while my day consists of watching TV, reading, and not much else I’ve tried to see what I can make of that for a post.  So here are my little surprises.  Mostly good with a couple that are deserving of an annoyed sigh and eye roll.

I mention that I watch a lot of TV.  Most of it I actually do online which I’ll get to in a second.  Because I’m trying to save a little money where I can, I don’t have cable.  Which means I get about 4 channels.  The other night I accidentally hit the reset button on my remote and bingo, I magically had 7 new channels.  More than double what I had – WHOO HOO!!  That was a nice little surprise.  Especially when I realized one of the channels was ABC and two others play reruns of Friends, The Simpsons, and King of the Hill so score!  Three of them are Spanish stations with plenty of telenovelas and Sabado Gigante.  This would be an eye roll surprise.

Bless the networks or whoever decided that streaming shows online would be a good idea.  And not just current shows either.  I’ve spent the past week watching old episodes of Judging Amy and Family Ties.  I noticed 21 Jumpstreet is streaming and may have to check that out next.

Wednesday night I’m going to a friend’s wedding reception.  I know there have been posts debating the whole registry idea and while I’m not going to get into it I will say I’m against the registry.  I looked at the stuff they selected and thought oh please.  No one is going to buy you the $800 TV or the Ipod Nano you selected.  But the only things I can really afford on their list are the washclothes and soap dispenser.  I’d rather not get them either.  So I fell back on my favorite (and pretty much only) gift I give which is the gift card.  I thought it would be better to put the gift card in an actual wedding card rather than slipping it to them in line.  Who knew wedding cards are almost as expensive as the gifts themselves??  And they all have these lame, sappy poems in them.  Can’t one just say Happy Wedding and be done with it?  Grrr.  While I resisted going home and pulling out my crayons and making them a card, I did settle by buying the plainest (and let’s face it the ugliest) card I found.

Right now I’m reading Lincoln by Gore Vidal.  Honestly I wasn’t sure I was really going to like this book but the more I read the more I like it.  I can’t believe how ignorant I am when it comes to the Civil War and this presidency.  I mean, hello, I am an American for crying out loud.  You would think I would know more about my nation’s history.  So this has definitely been a good surprise.  The reading and liking part, not my ignorance.

Another good surprise?  Re-discovering naps.  I’ve always been one to say “I wish I could just take a nap” but would never actually do it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep at night and then I wouldn’t be able to get up the next day, blah blah and the cycle would go on and on.  Well, now it doesn’t matter since I don’t have to get up if I don’t want to.  I’ve been taking 1-2 hour naps a few times a week and am loving it.

And the biggest suprise of the past couple of weeks?  My sister called, invited and payed for me to come out for a visit this Memorial weekend.  Yeah!  A good surprise and definitely one to look forward to.

20 Questions You Probably Never Wanted Me To Answer But…

I was tagged by Maleesha  at Binary Trash to answer these.  Sometimes, like today, I’m so glad for tags because it saves me from having to think of something to write about.  Right off the bat I’m going to break rule #2 and not tag other people.  Feel free to participate if you want.

The rules of the game:

RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

No clue to be honest.  If it’s a real betrayal I might just walk out and take him for all he’s worth.  I once heard or read Ivanka Trump say, “Don’t get angry, get EVERYTHING!”  Of course I really don’t know and I hope I never have to find out.

2. If you have a dream you’d like to come true, what is it?

That I would have an infinite amount of money so I could travel around the world on a whim.  And because it would be infinite I would just be giving it away.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

Hmm, I don’t honestly know.  I can’t think of anyone specific but I really hate bullies so maybe I’d round up a few of them and show them what it’s like.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Didn’t I just answer this already?  Well, I guess I would pay off my student loan and my car – big spender I know.  Then I would pay off all the debt everyone in my family owes and give them all enough money to not ever have to worry about money again.  I would put away enough to travel and maybe invest some somewhere for posterity.  Then I would probably give the rest away.  There are a bunch of people in a small village in Guatemala whom I would love to give money too.  And anything to do with kids.  Like going to schools and purchasing supplies for them or donating to after school programs, music programs, and fitness programs.  Stuff like that.

5. Will your best friend always be your best friend?

My best friend would be Leigh and yes, she’d better be!

6. Have you ever been in love with two people at once?

Nope

7. How long would you wait for someone you really loved?

Uh, well it depends.  What am I waiting on them to do?  Get back from somewhere?  Overcome some issue?  Are they making up their minds about something?

8. If you won the lottery, would you quit your job?

Absolutely.

9. Who is on your celebrity top 5…you know, the ones…that if you ever had an opportunity…

Oh my gosh I just went into a frenzie b/c I know there are so many to pick from but my mind went blank.  For sure Wentworth Miller from Prison Break.  Christian Bale, David Beckham, Ryan Gosling, and Dave Annable.  I wouldn’ be surprised if I changed this a few times throughout the day.

10. What sucks the life out of you?

Hearing about or dealing with the same issues over and over and over again without any changes being made.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I would use my eyes.

12. What’s your greatest fear/phobia?

Rejection.  But I will also accept spiders and those large grasshoppers.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Well, we’ve never met but her blog is dang funny and she reads my blog so she must be awesome.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Hmm, I don’t know.  I’ve never been married or rich, just single and poor.  So I might be up for anything that changes that up a little.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Think to myself, “The sooner you get up and function, the sooner you can leave work and come home.”  Then I get up.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yes.  As long as I’m not the only one doing so.

17. Is your career vitally important to you?

Nope

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

I would really like to say yes to this question but I don’t think I honestly can.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?

It’s a toss up.  I love doing whatever I want whenever I want without having to think of anyone else.  I love coming and going at my own schedule and not having to worry about other people.  But sometimes it’s a real drag to have to go to things by yourself all the time.  And it’s nice to have someone want to be with you simply because you’re you.

20. List 6 people to tag

I already said I wasn’t going to do this.  But feel free to take the tag and run with it.  Just let me know so I can take a peek.