A New Kind of Geek

Right now the #1 movie is The Social Network.  I haven’t seen it and don’t really plan on it.  Not that I’m hating on the movie, but I’m on facebook enough and don’t need to sit for two hours to learn about its origins.  But I imagine geeks everywhere are feeling vindication that finally, FINALLY, they are making headway into being “cool” with mainstream pop culture.  The Big Bang Theory is high in the TV ratings, Steve Wozniak competed on Dancing with the Stars, and I understand Comic Con is a pretty big deal.

It just seems that the past couple of years has seen a rise in geekhood.  Go Geeks!  Right on the heels (fine, it’s not on the heels but a random survey that was forwarded to me) comes out a survey listing the top 10 geekiest cities in the US.  Go ahead and look at #6.  Seriously?  Conway, Arkansas made it on this list?  It states that one of its contributing factors is that it’s a college town – one of those colleges being where I attend.

A lot of adjectives come to mind when I think of my hometown but geeky has never been one of them.  So I looked up the definition of geek (yikes, is that a geeky thing to do?) and read this:

“Formerly, the term referred to a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken, bat, snake or bugs.”

Err, what?  So what this is really telling me is that Ozzy Osborne should be teaching my theory and analysis class.  Well that would definitely make it more entertaining.  Remember the episode of the Osborne show when Ozzy couldn’t figure out how to use the TV remote control?…..oh the irony.

My So Called Life

Two words: Jordan Catalano.  *sigh, swoon, melt*  Yesterday Netflix sent a DVD to our house that was really supposed to go to my brother’s fiance in Idaho.  I opened the envelope and found three episodes from the show My So Called Life.  I LOVED this show!  It premiered in 1994 when I was 15 (same age as the title character Angela) but thanks to those corporate network execs that I love so much, it only lasted one season.

Angela was me.  I couldn’t believe they created a show that so perfectly thought what I was thinking.  And while the show was great in its own right, I really tuned in every week for Jordan.  Re-watching it now, I realize there wasn’t much to his character.  He wasn’t deep by any means, hardly had any lines at all come to think of it but he really didn’t need to.

That picture on top graced the back of my bedroom door for close to 12 years before I finally gave in to imaginary social pressure that told me I was too old to have a collage of men on my bedroom door.  I may have taken him down but I didn’t have the heart to toss him in the trash with everyone else so somewhere in a box in the garage there Jared Leto sits.  But he’s not alone, I’m pretty sure I salvaged Mark Wahlberg as well.

A few years ago I went to a 30 Seconds to Mars show and got to meet, albeit incredibly briefly, Jared.  And while it was brief, it was long enough to look and see that his eyes really are that blue.  And at least I didn’t pull this little stunt when he asked me a question.

Anyway, watching the show took me back in time to my freshman year like it was yesterday.  The clothes, the hair, the makeup, how I thought everything was dramatic and no one except my peers knew how I was feeling.  It kind of felt exciting.  Everything was new, you hadn’t been around long enough to experience anything yet.  Looking back through the years I have some good memories and some bad ones, but they’re all a bit hazy in comparison to what I remember about high school.  I’m sure my recollection is slightly warped but didn’t it seem like we were so much more mature than the kids in high school are now?  I’m sure of it.

Then I remembered during my senior year there was a sophomore that reminded me of Jordan Catalano.  He was the oldest looking sophomore I’d ever seen.  Had the same blue eyes, easy smile, and same sort of laid back style and vibe that Jordan had.  Only this guy hung out with the popular crowd, probably for those same reasons.  I didn’t have the same sort of mad crush Angela had on  Jordan…well crap, or the way I had on Jordan, but noticed him in the halls from time to time.

For a few summers while I was in college, I worked on the landscape crew at the local university.  It was my second summer working there when who should get hired?  None other than this guy from high school.  To be honest I don’t really remember that much about him.  How’s that for an anti-climax?  I’m thinking he was a nice guy, we probably had some fun here and there but the overall memory is vague.  Geez, talk about a bummer.

Well, I decided to look this guy up and naturally found him on facebook.  Ack!  Not looking so much like Jordan Catalano anymore.  Not that he looks bad but when your vague memory looks like guy in the above pictures, all I’m saying is be prepared to be disappointed.

And just like that I remember it’s not 1994.  It’s 2010.  I’m not 15, I’m almost 31.  And I think, high school was limiting.  It was the same thing spit out again and again for four years.  It was the same people year after year.  What was exciting and new your freshman year, became an overplayed song on the radio that you either grew to hate or numbly ignored by your senior year.

But then I think of the Jordan Catalanos in high school and can’t help but smile.

I’m Not a Productive Person but I Play One on TV

For the past two weeks I’ve had Back to the Future Syndrome.  Usually this is when you move back home after a year or more and it feels as though you never left but you can’t remember being there.  And things have changed while you were gone but since it feels like you never left, you aren’t sure when all the changes could have happened.  And there you have the final scene when Michael J. Fox wakes up after only a night and yet a week had passed and nothing was as it was before: Back to the Future Syndrome.

Well I haven’t gone anywhere but the days have gone by so fast, I can’t really remember them.  And yet I was here.  Maybe it’s a Back to the Future in reverse.  Or sideways.  Maybe I’m actually in an episode of Lost.

What I can sort of remember is that my brother was in town for a week during semesters at school.  Has he really been gone four months already??  I’m still around kids ALL THE TIME which has really just blurred into a collage of sand, snot, building blocks, and funny conversations.  Earth Day was yesterday and I helped the kids create the Earth in art form using blue/green paint, a magnet, a coffee filter, and a save the Earth sticker.  It was as though I had transformed into a craft version of Macgyver.

I’ve been tanning so I no longer have to write CLEAR on forms that ask what race I am.  And I got my hair highlighted this past week and absolutely love it.  I don’t know why I don’t get my hair done more often.  I come out of there feeling like the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I’ve been feeling so good the past few days I’ve been bust’n a move to old school Madonna in my car.  You’re welcome people I pass on the road.  Road workers outside my neighborhood, I’m talking specifically to you.

I spent a few hours this week laying sod (thank you tetris for giving me mad skills that finally came in handy – I knew you weren’t a waste of time) and tomorrow I’m going to donate blood so my “humanitarian” efforts for the week can be checked.  I also made 5 dozen cookies and have dough to make another two – just thought I would randomly throw that in there.  This time next week I’m going to be back in Illinois visiting my sister and her family with my mom.  Next weekend is also Toad Suck Daze here and for those (all of you) who don’t know what that is don’t worry, I’ll explain in my next post.  But speaking of traveling, my family has been trying to get a mega trip together this summer.  I don’t know all the details yet but I can tell you it looks like I’ll be going from Arkansas to Utah to Idaho to Utah to Idaho to Utah to California possibly back to Utah or if not back to Arkansas.  All in two weeks.  And I’m trying to squeeze a side trip of my own in there to Spokane for a few days.  If you feel like contributing to that fund by all means, go with those feelings and help a fellow blogger out.  No?  Well, you can’t fault me for asking.

Oh and did I mention I’m sort of thinking about going back to school?  Oh how I love that I can make my life seem more busy and productive than it really is.

More on Charleston

But not in this post.  Oh how I tease.  I realize I just disappointed all one of you that’s looking forward to my Illinois updates, but I’m just too lazy to go get my camera so I can post the pictures.  Instead, welcome to my past week.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really remember much before Thursday but I’m sure those days included watching a lot of TV.  I do know I started feeling the oncoming of a cold Tuesday night or Wednesday which sucked.  I hate being sick.  I’m a terrible sick person.  On the outside I’m pretty controlled, I don’t really complain and I stay away from people.  Mostly because I get really peeved at people that whine and bellyache when they’re sick.  And especially those that come out of their rooms and infect everyone else around them.  Jerks.

But in my mind I feel like I’m going crazy.  The same thing happens when my arms get trapped inside an article of clothing and I cant’ get it off and I’m stuck.  Yes, this happens ok.  I start to panic and just want to be released.  Just thinking about it makes me squeamish…ok, I had to flail my arms around just now.  Anyway, when I’m sick all I can think about it how much longer I have to be sick.  It’s miserable.

I do remember going to the batting cages with my dad Thursday afternoon.  That was fun and it might have been the best day I’ve had at the cages to date.  Except I know I’m not still a seasoned player because I get winded and break out in a sweat when I’m there.  Like that’s some sort of strenuous exercise.  I blame the cold.

Friday afternoon I get a mass email from our church asking for people to go help this family clean their new duplex.  Long story short, their house burned down Sunday in the middle of the night and they’re moving into this duplex.  I head over there, above all else because their house burned down for heaven’s sake and they need help.  Plus two of the girls are in my church group I’m over.  Also, I’m a saint.

I head over there and get to work cleaning the bathroom.  As a side note, I hate cleaning bathrooms.  I would rather clean almost anything else before touching the bathroom.  But whatever, their house burned.  There’s no way of getting around it, this duplex is disgusting.  I completely understand the emergency of the situation and the fact this family is financially strapped.  But I can’t believe the landlords would actually rent this place out in the condition it’s in.  AND they apparently told this family that it had been professionally cleaned which was a blatant lie.  We’re talking mold, animal droppings, repairs needed, rust, etc. and that was just the kitchen area.

I know bleach containers list certain areas that are safe for product use but everything in that bathroom got hosed down.  I could actually feel the fumes rising in the air which couldn’t have been the best on my lungs and cough.  At one point the lady asked if I was “dying in there”.  It didn’t look that much better when I left and I ironically thought the best thing for that duplex was to burn it down and start over.

Saturday my cold moved into my sinuses and my nose.  Oh, balls.  I was really wanting to avoid that.  In my opinion this is the worst of the worst of having a cold.  I did luck out because it’s now Monday, I’m on the mend, and it never developed into a full blown sinus infection.  Phew.  Sinus infection + no insurance + no money = a life of crime, I’m sure of it.  No doubt I would have gone crazy and ended up on the evening news and in jail.  My cellmates would’ve had to pay me off with Mucinex, which of course at that point wouldn’t work.  I’d be the one true nut job in the slammer and everyone would know not to mess with the girl with clogged ears.  Don’t even get me started on clogged ears, you know what I’m talking about.  Or more likely, I would’ve had to borrow money from the parentals and go to the doctor.  Either way, not getting it worked out for the best.

Sunday night I watched the Oscars and I noticed a couple of things.  Everyone being interviewed before the show was chewing gum and it really bugged me.  Spit it out already.  Isn’t that a rule in public speaking/drama classes 101 to spit out your gum before performing or addressing an audience?  If it’s not it should be.  Also, there are a lot of celebrities that actually make me mad.  Like I want to punch you in the face mad.  Some of them weren’t at the Oscars but all include:

Oprah Winfrey

Barbara Streisand

Barbara Walters

Adam Lambert

Aretha Franklin

Mariah Carey

To name just a small few.  So that brings me up to today.  Did the usual, Walmart, library, watched some movie, yadda yadda.  I did go out and mow the lawn.  On the bright side, the weather was PERFECT.  High 60s with little to no humidity, sun out.  I even went out in capris which reminded me that I’m going to need to scrape up the money to hit the tanning bed soon.  Gotta keep my priorities straight, ya know.  I kind of like yard work, I do.  And mowing is probably my favorite yard chore if I had to name one.  But the grass is still dead.  I’m not understanding why it needs to be mowed so soon.  Plus, because of two great, big trees in our yard, it was more like mowing dirt.  I looked an awful lot like this:

This week’s off to a great start.

They Did It Again

It was announced this week that Ugly Betty has been canceled.  The network said the show hasn’t sustained it’s audience and ratings have been slowly slipping the past two seasons.  Well ABC, I wonder why this is.  Could it be because for no reason you switched it’s time slot not once, not twice, but three times?  The first being Friday night which is the kiss of death?  I’m really getting sick of all the shows I like getting canceled; Prison Break, My Name is Earl, Arrested Development, and now Ugly Betty.  I’m becoming more and more convinced the TV networks have it out for me in some sort of giant conspiracy, so I would like to go on record listing my 5 new favorite shows. Are you listening networks?  These are my new favorite shows (*wink, wink*).  And now in absolutely no particular order because I hold them all with the same regard, my top 5:

1.  The Deep End – I know what you’re thinking.  This hasn’t even aired yet and it’s already one of my favorites.  This show follows young lawyers as they join a prestigious LA firm.  Not to be confused with The Practice, Law & Order (take your pick as to which one), Just Legal, Alley McBeal, etc.  Oh I see what you did, this is about YOUNG, NEW lawyers.  Very clever of you network.  For a second I thought this was going to be another rehash of an old concept.  Wait…wasn’t that the bases of Shark?

2.  Past Life – Again, I know this hasn’t aired yet.  But honestly, how could anyone not agree this is on the express train for success?  Past life detectives that who investigate whether what is happening to you today is the result of who you were before – I’m sold.  This is not to be confused with the show Medium.  The main character on that show solves cases of criminals who are already dead and yet appear to her in dreams.  They didn’t live a past life, they just can’t seem to leave this one.  Which is actually an awful lot like this other show called Ghost Whisperer…

3.  Mercy – This show is a breath of fresh air.  Finally we get to see the dramatic world of the medical field through the eyes of women.  It’s about time!  This concept is so riviting I can’t believe no one thought of it before.  I wish I had.  I would have named it something catchy like Grey’s Anatomy or HawthoRNe.  Or how about ER?

4.  The Forgotten – Ah yes.  With so many cop/detective/investigating shows out there it’s hard to find one to stand out from all the rest.  But what this show does is to be a voice for those victims whose cases were never resolved.  That way, these people aren’t left to be just another cold case….hmm, cold case?  That could have potential to be a good name for a  TV drama about this very thing.

5.  Gary Unmarried – I’ve mentioned this show before but I just can’t help myself from doing it again.  Uproariously funny!  Hysterical!  Two thumbs up!  We get to watch whitty, divorcee Gary bumble his way through his now bachelor life as he tries to balance  the new world of dating with frequent encounters with his ex-wife.  Man, you’ve just got to feel for the guy.  He should hook up with that New Adventures of Old Christine gal and the two of them should take a vacation together.  Permanently.  From the networks.

Bumpits, Alien Babies, and Some News

I’m not a big fan of watching the news.  The stories are rarely positive and uplifting and I figure I can scan the news blips on the internet faster than sitting and listening to them drone on.  But a few weeks ago I was flipping through the channels and noticed something I hadn’t before.  When did news anchors become the official unofficial models for the bumpit?  I became mesmerized by this lady’s large growth coming out of her head.  And it wasn’t just that network.  All the stations had at least one anchor that could use her hair as an extra locker to keep her purse.

Speaking of, remember Debbie Harry’s character in the original Hairspray movie?  She kept a bomb in hers.  And Ricki Lake was busted out of jail in time to dance a new dance she called the bug while wearing a pink dress with roaches all over it?  I have to buy that movie!

Anyway, between news anchors and the women of Utah and Idaho, bumpits are well on their way to world domination.  She looked an awful lot like this girl:

And the more I stared, the more I started making other connections:

I have no idea what it means yet but I’m sure I’m on the verge of cracking some great conspiracy.

Ever notice how alien faces look like newborn baby faces?  I’m talking straight out of the womb, still covered in goo baby faces.  This is an underlying concern I have, should I ever have kids of my own.  I don’t know if I’ll want to look at it right away.  I may have to wear Ellen Degeneres blindfolds while I’m giving birth just to cover my bases.

Maybe this is the real reason women are required to stay in the hospital so long after delivery, to give the kid a chance to morph into a more human looking form so parents won’t be freaked to take them home.  I’m just saying.

I tried in vain to find a picture of the local news anchor that inspired this entry but I couldn’t.  It didn’t help that I couldn’t remember her name or which station she works for but those are just minor details.  So instead I found something else that I’ll leave you with.  I thought this was so hysterical I watched this clip over and over for at least twenty minutes.  Enjoy.