Lincoln’s Identities Revealed

Have you heard of this new book that depicts Lincoln as a vampire hunter?  Hogwash.  Based on these wooden carvings I saw when I was in Charleston, it’s quite clear he was more zombie than vampire:

Let’s take a closer look shall we:

Yep, those are the eyes and face of a zombie.

Or what about this guy?

I can see some similarities between the two.

Or if you remove his head from his body, just go with me on this, he has the same frame as Gumby

Whether as a zombie, shrunken head, or Gumby one thing can be said for Lincoln

he stood head and shoulders…and chest (ba dum dum.  Thanks folks I’ll be here all week.  *sigh* No I won’t.) above all others in American history.

7 thoughts on “Lincoln’s Identities Revealed

  1. First, I need to read this Lincoln vampire hunter book now. Second, these pictures of Lincoln are the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen. Are these “professionaly” made statues?

    The book is called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame – Smith. There’s talk of Tim Burton turning it into a movie and there’s some sort of video on youtube advertising the book (I think it’s advertising the book). All of the statues were at this restaurant in Charleston so I guess they were supposed to be professional. There were tons of them, should have taken more pics.

  2. sometimes the sites in my own little town frighten me a bit == especially when they don’t seem odd to me anymore!

    Funny how things become common place when you’re around it a lot.

  3. Thank you! I am now the proud owner of this book on my Kindle. You are awesome!

    I am awesome! You’ll have to let me know if it’s any good.

  4. Amazingly enough, many have speculated that Lincoln’s stature is the result of a bad case of genetics. There are some geneticists that want to test a bloodstained glove of his to see if he had Marfan’s syndrome. If he did have it, even if he hadn’t been assassinated he probably would have died soon after any way.

    Weird, I watched a couple of programs on the history channel not too long ago that talked about Lincoln and mentioned this same possibility.

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