I’m not a big fan of watching the news. The stories are rarely positive and uplifting and I figure I can scan the news blips on the internet faster than sitting and listening to them drone on. But a few weeks ago I was flipping through the channels and noticed something I hadn’t before. When did news anchors become the official unofficial models for the bumpit? I became mesmerized by this lady’s large growth coming out of her head. And it wasn’t just that network. All the stations had at least one anchor that could use her hair as an extra locker to keep her purse.
Speaking of, remember Debbie Harry’s character in the original Hairspray movie? She kept a bomb in hers. And Ricki Lake was busted out of jail in time to dance a new dance she called the bug while wearing a pink dress with roaches all over it? I have to buy that movie!
Anyway, between news anchors and the women of Utah and Idaho, bumpits are well on their way to world domination. She looked an awful lot like this girl:
And the more I stared, the more I started making other connections:
I have no idea what it means yet but I’m sure I’m on the verge of cracking some great conspiracy.
Ever notice how alien faces look like newborn baby faces? I’m talking straight out of the womb, still covered in goo baby faces. This is an underlying concern I have, should I ever have kids of my own. I don’t know if I’ll want to look at it right away. I may have to wear Ellen Degeneres blindfolds while I’m giving birth just to cover my bases.
Maybe this is the real reason women are required to stay in the hospital so long after delivery, to give the kid a chance to morph into a more human looking form so parents won’t be freaked to take them home. I’m just saying.
I tried in vain to find a picture of the local news anchor that inspired this entry but I couldn’t. It didn’t help that I couldn’t remember her name or which station she works for but those are just minor details. So instead I found something else that I’ll leave you with. I thought this was so hysterical I watched this clip over and over for at least twenty minutes. Enjoy.