Ashlee Simpson You’re an Idiot…and Other Observations

1.  I was reading a quote by Ashlee Simpson the other day where she says the only thing she does to maintain her figure is to chase her kid around and that her arms are defined because she’s constantly holding him.  *blank stares and crickets chirping*  Are you serious right now?  First of all, you’re arms aren’t that defined for crying out loud.  But besides that, there is no way you’re as thin as you are because you chase your kid all day.  That’s ridiculous.  It’s annoying when celebrities say crap like this.  I help out at a daycare twice a week for a few hours and trust me, I haven’t lost an ounce being out there keeping up with 16 kids.  True it’s just for a few hours a week but16 trumps your one, trust me.  I’m just saying.

2.  Unless you’re a hot, single guy my age or someone at least 10 or 15 years older than me, please don’t call me sweetie, honey, sugar, or anything related to that.  I went to buy jeans over the weekend and the sales girls kept saying things like, “Do you have everything you need sweetie?”  “Hon can I get you anything else?”  Now I do realize I’m in the south and that’s part of vocabulary here, but it’s weird coming from someone younger.

3.  Why did the movie 2012 come out this year?  Wouldn’t it be more effective to come out in 2012?  I don’t have any sarcastic, snarky comments about this.  I’m genuinely curious.

4. Ever notice on cop shows people are constantly walking away from the police when they’re being questioned?  Usually they say something like, “If you’ll excuse me I have work to do” and then they leave.  Does this really happen?  I would think that if I was being questioned by police for something I would stay put until they tell me they’re through.  But maybe that’s just me.

5.  Kids. Hear. Everything.  And then they repeat it.  Helping out at this daycare and working with the kids at church, I’m constantly amazed and the things they’re saying.  Not because they’re repeating things that are bad, but because it’s usually the most random stuff that you know their parents never thought they heard.  It’s kind of funny sometimes.  Mostly because they aren’t my kids.

6.  Tyra Banks was on Jay Leno tonight and it reminded me once again just how funny Joel McHale can be on The Soup.  The show is basically him making fun of moments on reality TV (Tyra and The View being two of his favorites to pick on).  But honestly, Tyra just asks for it. I’d be surprised if some part of tonight’s segment isn’t made fun of by Joel. I couldn’t believe he was actually invited on The View as a legitimate guest a little while back.  The first questioned asked was why he makes fun of their show on his.  His response, “Have you seen your show?”  haha  I love it.

*sigh*  I need some new hobbies.

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10 thoughts on “Ashlee Simpson You’re an Idiot…and Other Observations

  1. 1. Yeah, that stuff kills me when a celebrity is like “I eat all the time, never work out and I just keep losing weight.” I have two words and several hand gestures for them…..

    2. If I ever call you “Hon” it’s usually a sort of mild term of endearment and is usually said with a litle sarcasm in my voice…so hopefully nobody ever takes me seriously… 🙂

    3. Well, where would be the profit in that?? I mean releasing it in 2012, you would have to release in late winter at best if you want to capitalize on any dvd sales, assuming the dvd hits before the end of the world. Gotta make as much money as they possibly can before the end of everything, right?

    4. This falls under the common cop show device of stacking boxes. Inevitably, in almost ever procedural drama, there is someone who is just not impressed that HOMICIDE detectives are questioning him and is just too busy to stop from stacking boxes (or insert other mundane work activity here).

    5. Real quote from the kids in the waiting room at my dealership: “Mommy has a cool flashlight in her dresser drawer but I can’t make it work. It just shakes when you turn it on.”

    6. Joel rocks! And as long as Tyra still insists on appearing on tv, he will have clips of the week. On a side note, I love how Tyra has no concept of comic timing and stepped all over Jay Leno’s segment….that was funnier than any answers she was giving…

    Hey! It’s good seeing you around here again.

    1. I’m right there with you
    2. I think it mostly bugs me when the person is obviously younger than I am.
    3. Well this is a good point. Maybe release it in 2011? Just something closer than 2009.
    4. Yeah, I get why they do this on TV b/c they need the story to move along faster but I can’t imagine someone being so dumb as to do it in real life. But then again, there are some idiots out there.
    5. HAHA!! That’s hilarious.
    6. She was terrible!

  2. Ashlee Simpson is an idiot. According to her, there should be no fat housewives /house husbands, but any trip to Wal Mart puts that theory to rest.

    Now as a police officer I would like to answer #4. Truth is, if you are being questioned by the police it is a good idea to just answer the questions. Police just do not stop random people and ask random questions for shits and giggles. We simply do not have the time nor the manpower to waste on such fruitless endeavors.
    In order to stop someone’s freedom of movement you need “reasonable suspicion” which is a way of saying a damn good reason to stop said person. Damn good reasons include: person fits description given by the victim, loitering in known location of criminal activity, observations, etc.
    Evasive behavior during the questioning i.e. walking away…could raise the situation from reasonable suspicion to probable cause. Probable cause is what is needed to affect an arrest. Cuffed and removed to the precinct just makes it harder on the person being question. But the question must be answered:”Why is he walking away? Why is he being evasive?” “what is he hiding?” “why not just answer the questions?” Bear in mind there is a victim on the sidelines watching their case being worked on and wanting justice.
    What would society be like if one could just walk away from police while being questioned? How many cases would be solved? All one would have to do is rob and pilage and then when questioned…simply walk away. Who wants to live like that? I don’t. What would it be like if you ran up to an officer and said:” That man just punched me in the face and took my purse!! right there!!! him!!” and the officer responded:” Sorry ma’am…..I did not see it happen and if I question him, he will just walk away anyway”
    All that being said, we can not stop anyone’s freedom of movement for the hell of it, better have a damn good reason err..I mean reasonable suspicion.

    You know, I was hoping you would comment on #4. People really do that? I just think it would be common sense that that kind of behavior would cause suspicion. And if you were guilty of something, that’s the last thing you would want to do. I don’t know, some people are total morons.

    • Truth be told, in my 11 years as a NYC cop I have never encountered someone walking away while I tried to talk to them. I would have to say, even in NYC, people normally do answer our questions. I am sure it does happen, but it is not the norm.

      Good to know. I guess it really is just to get the show moving along rather than based on actual experiences.

  3. nandango – very valid points and observations. i can’t ashlee simpson….what an annoying little bimbo. Julia has embarrassed us before with repeating stuff. Nothing TOO bad, but still….her teacher didn’t need to know I called Ron a douchebag one night…of course it was said with as much love as possible. 🙂

    glassowater – phenomenal #5. ha ha ha Oh my word I would DIE!

    haha Julia cracks me up!!

  4. Other things:

    1. After being flat chested and suddenly looking like Dolly Parton, women who say, “I’m still growing which doesn’t mean I had a boob job” OR “Breast feeding brought out my curves.” What a load of crap.

    2. On her model show, Tyra constantly tells contestants they need to either lose weight or be SKINNY or else they won’t be booked or make any money (ie, skinny = pretty). But on her show where she’s delusional enough to think she’s going to be the next Oprah, she tells women the size of beached whales that they’re beautiful. Tyra is a nut job.

    3. Joel McHale is not. He’s just funny.

    4. I saw some kids running from cops a few weeks ago. Wonder what that was all about? I’m thinking drugs because one guy was shot, there were dogs, 15 squad cars and a CSI trailer. Mucked up traffic for about 8 hours.

    5. The whole ‘honey’ and ‘sweetie’ thing doesn’t even phase me anymore unless it’s some disgusting old lech and he’s talking to my breasts. Then I throw up a little in my mouth and walk away.

    Joel McHale is not? Not what? I’ve noticed the double standard Tyra has had on her shows. I just can’t get over how she managed to get one, let alone two of them.

  5. I have a friend that calls everyone “sweetie.” I’m also in the South, though, and I have a bad habit of gently condescending people by calling them “honey.” I also tell EVERYONE “I love you.”

    Telling everyone I love you is a new one. I wonder how that goes over with the majority?

  6. Now, I must say, in defense of Tyra -ala Joel McHale- have you seen her? I’d give her 3 shows, just for one season at least. Though I didn’t see her on Jay Leno, she wouldn’t be able to pull that crap on Conan: he would let her have it in more funny ways than you would imagine 😉 Ashlee Simpson and her sister should be in Celebrity Jeopardy… just for that classic Will Ferrell SNL sketch’s sake.

    You’re right, I don’t think she would be able to get away with it on Conan. The funniest part would be that he would be making fun of her and it would go over her head.

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