Last Sunday, at the last minute, I decided to go with my mom and sister on their drive across the country moving my sister from LA to DC. While I may get into that in another post, this one is all about the eyebrow wax. We arrived in Virginia yesterday early afternoon and my mom and sister had already planned to get pedicures. I passed on that but said I would try out an eyebrow wax because I’d never had one and figured why not.
*For the following, anything written like this is my inner dialogue and not what I actually said. In reality I didn’t say much of anything and layed perfectly still without flinching once.
I went in the back room and the lady had me lay down on the table. Ooh this is kind of relaxing and I’m tired from being in the car all week. Then she puts some hot wax on the bottom of my left eyebrow. Ok, seriously I’m about to fall asleep. Next comes the paper thing she puts on top of the wax and pats it down. I have SO missed out on getting pampered! This feels like pure heav…RIP!!!..HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF JOSEPHINE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY?? THAT’S MY EYE!!!
She starts the process again, putting wax on the top of the same eye. In the meantime I’m desperately trying to slow my heart rate back down to a normal pulse. I’m almost successful when RIP!! GAHH!! IS THERE ANY EYEBROW LEFT??!? This is when my eye starts to water. Lovely.
The wax is now being put on my right eye and I’m already conditioned like Pavlo’s dog. I know what’s coming and I’m half tempted to tell her to leave it alone. I don’t care how funny it’ll look with only one brow done. She rips it off and starts on the top. Ok, just one more and you’re through. One more. One more. One more. RIP! Alright. You’re done. Good j…what is she doing? Why is she putting wax in between my eyes? Oh my gosh, please no. I promise I’ll pluck. I’LL PLUCK!! RIP!
She then asks if I want my upper lip done as well. “No I’m good. Thanks though.” Absolutely not! Are you crazy? I don’t care if I’m a shoe in to be the bearded lady in the circus. Step away from the wax and away from my face. We’re done. We. Are. Done.
I’m through and she holds up her mirror for me to take a look. Only I can’t see anything because my eyes are watering and everything is blury. I start laughing because I can only imagine how funny the whole thing must look. She started to laugh a little as well but kudos to her for keeping it pulled together for the most part. There’s no way I could do her job. I know I would start laughing before I even pulled the first strip. Just the anticipation of their reaction would totally make my day. And that would make it worse because if I were laughing I wouldn’t be able to pull as hard and fast as I’d need to which would cause me to laugh even harder. There really should be some hidden cameras in there. Like the ones they use for rides at amusement parks so when you leave you can buy your photo at the front. It makes me smile just thinking of it.
And even though it’s a little red and a few little bumps have shown up, over all it looks pretty good. Guess I’ll be back in there in a few months.