Afternoons seem to be the longest part of my day and while I love reading, books are starting to become synonymous with naps. And since Jerry Springer and Tyra aren’t really my style, I’ve been picking a movie from my VHS archive to watch everyday. A few years ago my older sister gave me close to 30 of them because I still had a working VCR and they were promptly placed in one of the cabinets in my entertainment center never to be seen until now. I’ve watched my DVDs so many times I might be able to write entire scripts from memory and as I was pulling them out yet again I remembered the old tapes. It was like finding random junk at a garage sale you didn’t know you needed until you saw it. I had completely forgotten (and maybe for a good reason) what movies I had under there. Some of them I hadn’t seen since they had originally come out sometime in the early to mid 90’s.
1. The Fugitive: Wasn’t this a big deal when it came out? It seems I remember this being a blockbuster but maybe I’m wrong. I also remember there being a flux of movies staring Harrison Ford that came out around this same time all with the same basic kind of plot. And speaking of the same, has Tommy Lee Jones ever been a different character? I mean seriously! The dude is always the tough crusty old man working for the government but a real softy on the inside. Expand your horizons would ya? Oh wait, scratch that. He played Two Face in Batman Forever. On second thought, stick to what you know best.
2. Forever Young: Talk about young, Mel Gibson doesn’t look that much older than me in this movie. Though it was Elijah Wood that stole the show. When this came out I thought he was going to grow up to be an incredible actor. And maybe he is but all I’ll ever see him as is a hobbit. And not just any hobbit, but the one that really got on my nerves for 9 hours. The makeup the put on Mel at the end to make him look old was funny at first, then kind of gross, then just plain scary. I’m betting their hair and makeup people didn’t win any awards.
3. Little Women: Dull and boring. I think this was the movie I paused to get something to drink and ended up doing my dishes. And I kept thinking “Geez, Kirstin Dunst was even annoying as a kid for crying out loud.” And I discovered that in the 90’s I had the same hair as Laurie. Don’t remember who Laurie was? Well it was their neighbor…who was a boy.
That’s Christian Bale and not me in case anyone wasn’t sure. But trust me, the hairstyle was the same.
4. Teen Wolf: This movie is so bad it’s kind of funny. My favorite is when his dad becomes a wolf. He looks like a gerbil on steroids. I wonder if this is the same make up crew they used on Forever Young, it wouldn’t surprise me.
5. 3 Musketeers: Now this was a good movie. Chris O’Donnell not so much but Kiefer Sutherland? Oliver Platt? Even Charlie Sheen had some funny lines. And I know you’re supposed to hate the bad guys but how can you hate Tim Curry? They even had the Quaker Oats peaches and cream guy playing the King of France. Oh wait, that wasn’t him? Close enough. And here’s for a bonus, remember that mega power ballad by Rod Stewart, Brian Adams, and Sting they sang for the soundtrack? All for Love? Well I do, they played it at every jr. high/high school/church dance that year. For your enjoyment and viewing pleasure, they put the music video on the tape as a precursor to the movie. Can you believe it? This was before DVDs and special features. Talk about fancy.
Some of the movies I’ll be watching next include Cool Runnings, Kindergarden Cop, Forrest Gump, and Batman Forever. Yes, that Batman that showcases Tommy Lee Jones’ breakthrough role as something other than a grumpy government worker. I can hardly wait.