I just learned today that Prison Break, my favorite show, is being canceled. Sure this season started getting a little slow. Yes, I understand the premise is to break out of prison and they’ve done that twice now. I get it. But there are loads of crappy television shows and they keep those on the air, so why not keep one that at least has an engaging, semi-complex plot? I can think of a handful of shows I would love to see Prison Break replace. Here are a small few:
1. The Bachelor: The plot is that some man whore gets to be the center of attention from 20 odd delusional females. All females claim their undying devotion and love after a nano second meeting with said man whore. This is great for the guy because he gets to sleep and make out with all these women (none of course have any morals and will therefore always say yes) and go on these crazy dates the network pays for. Then he picks one “lucky lady” and they’re engaged for another nano second before the relationship falls apart. Awesome.
2. Knight Rider: Didn’t this show already exist? Like 20+ years ago? Sure I loved this show when it was originally on but I was 4 – what did I know? I was also obsessed with He-man and eating Mayo only sandwiches. So what if his car talks to him? My sister’s car talks to her. It’s called GPS and it’s annoying.
3. Gary Unmarried: Basically about a guy who’s divorced, shares custody of his kids, and tries to revert back to the good ‘ol bachelor days. What’s funny about divorce? Nothing. What’s funny about a 40 something year old male acting like he’s 18? Nothing. What’s funny about those old cliched marriage/spouse jokes? Nothing. What’s so great about this show? Nothing.
4. Grey’s Anatomy: I know I’ll probably get flack on this one but come on! It’s about a bunch of doctors and how their lives entangle both at work and at home. Someone is always mad at someone or having some life crisis and they switch partners more than square dancers. And oh by the way, this show already exists. It’s called ER.
5. CSI: Now before anyone freaks out, let me just say that I love this show. I really do, well the Vegas one anyway. But do we need three of them? I say get rid of Miami, that guy gives me the creeps. Before you know it we’ll have covered all major cities and will have to move on to CSI: Idaho. “This crop of potatoes has all been killed…(whip off the sunglasses here) by the Colorado potato beetle” (song performed by The Who starts here). Simply riveting.
I could go on and on because there is A LOT of bad television out there but I think you all get the idea. Please someone, for the love, put Prison Break back on the air.