While out and about with my sister we’ve seen a few “celebrities”. I use quotation marks because they have been people that look familiar but take forever to figure out what you’ve seen them in or they’re from reality shows and I don’t consider those people to be real celebrities. Just last night we were walking on the Promenade and saw one of the owners on the show Sunset Tan. Unfortunately I’ve seen this show and I recognized this guy. And let me just say, he looks just as bad in person as he does on TV and in this photo. And I started thinking, “If they can give a show to him and turn him into a recognizable face, then why don’t they give me a show (and money) and turn me into a recognizable face? I mean sure, I may not look like I have juandice but my face could be recognized too!” So I started thinking of what my show would be like to watch and I got bored. I was bored from watching my very own imaginary TV show. This does not bode well in my favor. And I realized I could never have my own show or be a fascinating celebrity because:
1. I don’t drink. How fun could it be to watch someone who’s aware of their surroundings at all times?
2. I always wear underwear.
3. I prefer to shop at places like Target and eat at Burger King.
4. I don’t particularly enjoy getting dressed up and going out. To be honest, there are some days when I don’t bother showering or putting on makeup. And I’ve worn the same hoodie and baseball hat a few days in a row.
5. I don’t think someone should do something for me when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself. So no personal assistants, maids, or nannies.
6. Just because I could buy something doesn’t mean I should or that I’m going to. I hate waste and spending money for no reason.
7. I believe in working hard and actually earning the things you have. Anyone ever seen the show Sweet Sixteen on MTV or any of the Real Housewives of…? I want to strangle those little ingrates they have on there every time and I’m sorry but a real housewife actually does things around the house and telling your maid and your gardener what to do while holding a glass of scotch doesn’t count.
8. I love to read. And not just magazines but actual books that don’t have pictures.
9. I think drama is overrated. So if another celebrity starts talking trash about me in the tabloids I will most likely roll my eyes and respond with a “Next question” rather than feed the tabloid frenzy.
10. I don’t believe in whoring myself out for ratings or at all for that matter..ahem casts of Rock of Love, I Love New York, I Love Money, Flavor Flav and any other reality show from VH1, MTV, and E!
Bonus Reason: I wouldn’t join a cause or a religion just because it’s the new thing to do. I’m sure Kabbalah is a nice religion but just because Madona and Demi Moore put a red string around their wrist doesn’t mean I’m going to and I’m anti killing animals for their fur but that doesn’t mean I’m going to strip nude and pose in ads for Peta.
My show would just be me reading and writing posts for all of you and that would only take me so far. But it’s far enough for me.