10 Reasons Why I Wouldn’t Make a Good Celebrity

While out and about with my sister we’ve seen a few “celebrities”.  I use quotation marks because they have been people that look familiar but take forever to figure out what you’ve seen them in or they’re from reality shows and I don’t consider those people to be real celebrities.  Just last night we were walking on the Promenade and saw one of the owners on the show Sunset Tan.  Unfortunately I’ve seen this show and I recognized this guy.   jeff_bozz And let me just say, he looks just as bad in person as he does on TV and in this photo.  And I started thinking, “If they can give a show to him and turn him into a recognizable face, then why don’t they give me a show (and money) and turn me into a recognizable face?  I mean sure, I may not look like I have juandice but my face could be recognized too!”  So I started thinking of what my show would be like to watch and I got bored.  I was bored from watching my very own imaginary TV show.  This does not bode well in my favor.  And I realized I could never have my own show or be a fascinating celebrity because:

1.  I don’t drink.  How fun could it be to watch someone who’s aware of their surroundings at all times?

2.  I always wear underwear.

3.  I prefer to shop at places like Target and eat at Burger King.

4.  I don’t particularly enjoy getting dressed up and going out.  To be honest, there are some days when I don’t bother showering or putting on makeup.  And I’ve worn the same hoodie and baseball hat a few days in a row.

5.  I don’t think someone should do something for me when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.  So no personal assistants, maids, or nannies.

6.  Just because I could buy something doesn’t mean I should or that I’m going to.  I hate waste and spending money for no reason.

7.  I believe in working hard and actually earning the things you have.  Anyone ever seen the show Sweet Sixteen on MTV or any of the Real Housewives of…?  I want to strangle those little ingrates they have on there every time and I’m sorry but a real housewife actually does things around the house and telling your maid and your gardener what to do while holding a glass of scotch doesn’t count.

8.  I love to read.  And not just magazines but actual books that don’t have pictures.

9.  I think drama is overrated.  So if another celebrity starts talking trash about me in the tabloids I will most likely roll my eyes and respond with a “Next question” rather than feed the tabloid frenzy.

10. I don’t believe in whoring myself out for ratings or at all for that matter..ahem casts of Rock of Love, I Love New York, I Love Money, Flavor Flav and any other reality show from VH1, MTV, and E!

Bonus Reason: I wouldn’t join a cause or a religion just because it’s the new thing to do.  I’m sure Kabbalah is a nice religion but just because Madona and Demi Moore put a red string around their wrist doesn’t mean I’m going to and I’m anti killing animals for their fur but that doesn’t mean I’m going to strip nude and pose in ads for Peta.

My show would just be me reading and writing posts for all of you and that would only take me so far.  But it’s far enough for me.


13 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why I Wouldn’t Make a Good Celebrity

  1. these make sense!
    how abou being a blog celebrity then 😉

    Being a blog celebrity would be cool. I imagine that would be a little like Carrie Bradshaw only I wouldn’t have all the fun nights out on the town. Thanks for stopping by, hope to see you on here again.

  2. The jaundice guy is scary looking! I have seen the sweet 16 show…horrifying! Those little punks are the most immature, rude, SPOILED, UNGRATEFUL, LAZY, think their butts are made of gold a-holes….must I go on?

    To be honest I can’t watch that Sweet 16 show anymore. If I happen to be watching MTV and it comes on I have to change the channel because I get so irate. I just can’t believe there are people that let their children behave like that. Or that there are adults that behave like that. Scary to think.

  3. I haven’t seen most of those shows, but I have read you blog.
    There are shows with people hunting, fishing, cooking, why not blogging?!?
    Besides, you go hiking and come upon skinny dippers, avoid college boys and get top-rock-blocked by clouds. And then there is the whole going-on-a-jet-plane episode, er, post about getting to L.A. I think you should rethink that whole show idea… *nods and laughs*

    Good point about the other shows. I guess I don’t think of them as being real celebrities so they didn’t cross my mind. But as you said, “why not blogging?” I’m starting to rethink this idea. At least I know one person might watch it.

  4. Maybe you could rely on guest stars to liven up your show, like me or Kendall or that family who sat in front of us in church yesterday. Screaming kids and eye rolls would definitely make this reality show a worth while program.

    Oh I would definitely have guest stars on the show. They would be icing on the cake. That and my facial expressions.

  5. Yeah…I think people would definitely have to come to you in your surroundings. This would keep you in your comfortable element. You could stay in some sweats and someone could bring you a whopper when you became hungry.

    All you need are a couple of good guests and a video camera.

    This sounds like a good plan to make everyone come to me. Maybe I should start a channel on youtube.

  6. We could stick your show on around 3am when there’s nothing else on……
    I’m sure you’d get a following going in no time. ‘course I’m not sure what kinda of folks watch TV at that time…. Might want to invest in a bodyguard or at least a cardboard cut out of one.

    The kind of folks that watch TV at that time are the kind that live at home with their mothers even though they’re 45 and have a room dedicated to different sci-fi action figures – still in their collectible boxes of course. But then again, a following is a following I guess…

  7. What?!? No stripping nude for you?? Geez…I thought I knew you better than that! ha ha You crack me up….you have some very VALID points on why not to be a celeb. Of all people, you had to see THAT GUY? Gross. Anywho…in response to your comment on my blog….Olivia has been walking for over 6 months now….where have you been? LOL! That cracked me up!!

    Nope, no stripping. I think that’s something everyone can appreciate me not doing. We did see someone else but he’s one of those that looks familiar but no one knows who he is. I finally found him online after almost an hour on google b/c it bugged me. When I was out there in April she could barely crawl! I think it was in combination that at least in the photos she looks so tall! I think that’s what threw me off more than anything.

  8. I couldn’t be a celebrity because I am too self-conscious; I will not do something stupid just to garner attention when I know that I should be ashamed of myself.

    Show idea: switch the moms of Housewives with Blogger Women. Let’s see what happens to their manicures when they try to comment on someone’s blog who does not think that putting scotch in the baby’s milk is a good idea.

    Yeah I’m in agreement with you on this. I also couldn’t be one because I would curb my real thoughts about people because I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings. You know, like a friend that drives you nuts sometimes or something. You can’t take back something once it’s said and I would rather not have it caught on film. I think having a show about blogger women would be awesome. Cameras could follow them around and see what they come up with as subjects/topics to write about.

  9. Nothing makes me more irritated that those Housewives of Richety Richland or Super Sweet 16 shows. I don’t WATCH watch them…but as I flip through channels I have been known to linger on them just long enough to be sick. Those people are the reasons other countries hate our guts.

    I found that I got so mad watching the Sweet 16 one that I can’t stop on it when flipping through the channels. And I agree, they are exactly why other countries hate us. I hate us when I watch those shows.

  10. Along with the suck that is insomnia, comes the curse of alot of bad late night television and I actually watched a whole episode of that freakin Sweet Sixteen show. I have never been so appalled at the petty, jealous, childish, spoiled rotten, catty, ignorant and downright rude little beasts that are the children of today than I was in the 30 minutes I watched that show. It was 4am and I was so angry, I literally got out of bed (at 4am) and started cleaning my house (at 4am). Nothing works out frustration better than vacuuming before the crack of dawn! 🙂 I have to wonder who this show is for? Is it geared towards parents, maybe as a cautionary tale: what happens when you give them everything they want? You get rotten little SOBs, thats what…
    Or is it geared towards teenagers: Look what you can get if your parents are super rich and you pester and beg them…and none of these kids ever work either…I have been working since I was 14, where do these little bastards get all their cash? oh right….idiot parents…
    Ok, kinda went off on a rant here… in summation, that show profoundly angers me and I love this post! Happy New Year!

    I’m glad others get just as irate as I do when it comes to this show. I used to always say, “I’d like to ship them off to a third world country and see how they like that!” Then MTV actually came up with a show where they did just that. And you know what, they were still little turds on that show. Towards the end of their time in whatever country they sometimes changed but it was just as painful to watch as the other show. So I just avoid that whole thing all together. It makes me sick to think some teen thinks they deserve special treatment just because they exist on the planet.

  11. Last week the Real Housewives combined a sweet sixteen moment by buying one of the young girls a car — she didn’t have her license yet — I’m very entertained by that stuff. It’s just so ridiculous. They really are so completely unappreciative, but clearly the adults are even more nuts than the kids. First there’s the over tanning, then the botox. And I so completely don’t get the allure of fake boobs.

    But I think it would be hysterical to have an hour of video while you read a book. What a message it would send! lol

    You’re right, the parents are even more nuts than the kids. I don’t know how or why these women think they look good after all they do to themselves. They remind me of melted plastic barbie dolls. I think the video of me reading could be entertaining. If I get the right book I might just laugh out loud even.

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