I Hope Those Don’t Fall Off

This past weekend it rained.  This let me know that a) winter is on it’s way – blech! and b) I really needed some new windshield wipers.  It’s supposed to rain again this weekend (why does it always rain on the weekend but not during the work week??) so I went to an auto parts store to get some wipers.  I walk in and I’m the only person in the store with two employees behind the counter, one of whom is on the phone.  The other employee asks me if I need some help.  So I tell her that yes, I need some wipers but am not sure which ones I need.  At that point her phone rings and she tells me to hold on for just a minute.  One minute turned into two, and two turned into three, and well you get the point.  Neither one was on the phone with their same original call and I was starting to wonder if I had really wandered into a call center with an auto parts store as a cover.    And based on their conversations I don’t think either were on the phone with actual customers the whole time.  The one guy said shit twice right into the phone so, yeah pretty sure that wasn’t an actual customer.  I hope not anyway.

At this point I’m ready to walk out and go somewhere else when another guy materializes from the back and asks if I’ve been helped yet.  I tell him no and what it is I’m in there for.  We go over to a computer and he asks what car I drive so I say, “2002 Xterra”.  His response – “that’s a Nissan right?”  Um, yes it is.  Are you sure you’re qualified to work with vehicles?  Then he asks me something else that I’m pretty sure had nothing to do with the kind of windshield wiper I would need but made me feel kind of stupid because I didn’t know the answer.  It was something like is it a 2 or 3 gallon (gallon of what I don’t know)?  Or maybe it was if you were driving southbound on I-15 at 75 MPH and a camel spit in Egypt, would it rain in the Amazon?  Uh…huh?  Sir, unless I’m driving with camel spit on my car in the Amazon I fail to see how the type of wiper I would need applies.

Anyway, he keeps looking something up on his computer and then walks back and forth to the windshield wiper section.  Finally he gets some and asks if I only need the blade or the whole thing.  Now this is a new concept to me.  Maybe it’s common for people to only want the blade instead of the whole attachment.  I don’t know.  But at the time, and currently in my car ignorance, I’m thinking “no dude, I want you to pull out your exacto knife and trim off the blade please.  And while you’re at it, do you have any duct tape I can use to attach it to the battered wipers?”  But like I said, maybe it’s quite common to only need a blade.  So I say that yes I would like the whole thing and then he asks me if they look right, like the ones I already have on my car.  Well, if I could look at wipers and know if they were the ones I needed I wouldn’t need you.  I tell him I’m not sure so we walk out to look at my car.  He pulls one out and holds it up to the original wiper and says “well it looks like the other one.  I think it should work.”  Well I really hope so.

We go back in and he rings me up and then offers to put them on my car for me.  I’m slightly hesitant because I’m really not sure if he knows what he’s doing but then again neither do I really, so I give him the go ahead.  They’re now on my car and fingers crossed, they’ll serve me well this weekend.

* My little disclaimer: I would like to say that I realize this entry makes me seem like I was angry and or annoyed (or dare I say pissed) with the worker.  However, I was never rude and the mood of the moment, on my part anyway, was quizzical.  It wasn’t until I was leaving and then recapping the incident to a co-worker that I realized just how peculiar the whole exchange was.

8 thoughts on “I Hope Those Don’t Fall Off

  1. Everyone needs to know about the effects of camel spit in Egypt and rain in the Amazon. It’s a typical car question. 😉

    I once had a Ford Mustang. For reasons unkown to me or anyone else I knew, the gas cap kept getting stolen (it was exposed, there was no neat little door to hide it). Gas was never missing, just the damned gas cap. So, I went to an auto parts store to buy a locking one. I had to answer questions about the car that I didn’t think were relevant to the purchase I wanted to make. The guys kept asking me how many cylinders it had, and all I could think the entire time was “what the f*** does this have to do with my gas cap???”

    Ahh, cylinders. Maybe that’s what he was asking me about. Either way I don’t know what that has to do with windshield wipers or gas caps. I just don’t get people sometimes.

  2. I also said shit twice today. Once because I tripped leaving the dean’s office, falling on my hands and knees and the other because I was in a hurry and couldn’t get my office door to lock.

    I’d be wary, too. Bet you didn’t go to Boyer’s, did you? Auto Zone!!!

    I’m pretty sure you weren’t dealing with people when you swore. And no, I didn’t go to Boyer’s I was at some place called Auto Parts. But I do need to call Boyer’s this morning and get my car in there. Possibly I’ll need new tires – blech.

  3. I went to an auto parts store to grab a turn signal bulb and the helpful gentleman at the counter said, “The bulb will be $2.14, ma’am, but if you would like it installed we charge $35 an hour.” I’m pretty sure the look on my face said it all as I handed over the $2.14…but just for fun I asked, “And how long do you think it will take to install?” His reply, “Well, it could take anywhere up to a half hour or so.”

    I grabbed the bulb, popped my trunk, flipped open the light cover, unscrewed the old bulb, and installed the new one. BAM! He was watching me the entire time and I nonchalantly gave him a little girly wave before entering my vehicle.

    But…those windshield wipers can be tricky. I actually attempted to change mine and broke a vital metal part off. Oops.

    I hate when people try to tell you crap like that. As though you’re a total moron. Love that you gave him the girly wave at the end. Priceless.

  4. You always make me laugh out loud in places where I should be quiet. Does that make you happy? I even tried to fake a cough over it. No luck.

    HAHA Well at least someone on Earth thinks I’m funny – yes, I’m very happy to hear that.

  5. please tell me that you didn’t buy the extended warranty…..

    Your trips to…well anywhere…are always funny.

    No, I didn’t buy any warranty or pay for anything other than the wipers. Thanks, I’m glad you think they’re funny. I always feel when I read back through them I come across as rude and angry but honestly most of the time the strangeness doesn’t really hit me until afterward and I just think the whole situation is bizare, not upsetting. Well, usually…

  6. So, the conclusion that I come to from reading many of your posts is that maybe it’s time for a crash course in car maintenance. Come to think of it, my husband probably needs to take that same class!

    Maybe, but I generally know when and what’s wrong with my car. I just can’t fix it.

  7. Yeah you can buy wiper refills (so it’s just part of it you replace…the part that actually wears out, which saves you money). Although many places don’t sell them (at least where I am) and they make you replace the whole wiper blade. I only know this because my father told me he wanted to turn me into a grease monkey right after I obtained my driver’s license. I naievely said, “What’s that?” Thankfully he didn’t do it, but only taught me the basics.

    Hope your wipers are working!

    I haven’t had to use them yet so I still don’t know. My fingers are crossed.

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