Hungry?…Yeah Not So Much

Over the weekend my sister made a surprise two day visit.  Since I didn’t really know she was coming, nothing was planned which was probably what she was hoping for.  On Saturday she did have an appointment to get her hair done from “her guy” of 12 years.  I went along and read a book for the…ahem, 3 HOURS… it took.  Afterward I was really hungry and didn’t want to wait the 30 min drive home until I got to eat.  So we set out trying to find a place where we were.  We settled on a small country looking place that my sister had heard of and was presumably known for their homestyle cooking.  Perfect!  I love chicken, mashed potatos, rolls, and veggies.

The building looked like it was a remodeled house turned restaurant from the 50s.  That is to say that they still had the same dingy carpet, lack of good lighting, and grody decorations.  It sort of had an American red, white, and blue theme going on – redneck, white trash, blue collar.  Nothing wrong with being blue collar, nothing whatsoever.  It’s the redneck and white trash you have to keep an eye out for.  We were seated by our teenage waitress (everyone that worked there was a teenage girl) and eventually gave our orders.  We both decided on chicken, mashed potatos, salad, roll for me and scone for my sister.  And we both said no, that we didn’t want gravy on our chicken for which our waitress looked at us like we were crazy and asked us again, double checking to see if we were serious I guess.

Out comes the salad and we dig in.  I’m about 2/3 of the way through the salad when the waitress brings out food to the people in the booth behind us.  I can’t see exactly what’s going on because my back is to them but I can hear the waitress say, “I’m not exactly sure how fresh this is going to be.  You’ll have to let me know.”  Uh, what??  My sister and I look at each other and without a word I set my fork down on my plate and push it to the middle of the table.  I’m thinking I can not believe she just said that about the food when my sister informs me she was referring to the coffee.  Oh, alrighty then, salad’s a go and I finished it up.

Then comes the actual food.  The waitress sets down the plate and informs us that she brought out the gravy in a side cup in case we changed our minds and then left.  So, ok, what the crap is this??  I now understand why she thought we were so weird not wanting gravy on our chicken.  Because it wasn’t really chicken like you would get from a regular restaurant, it’s country friend chicken patties.  Eww!  I have no doubt in my mind that had I walked back to the kitchen I would have found an entire freezer stocked full of Hungry Man Jack tv dinners because that’s essentially what she served us.  At least when they nuked it in the microwave they made sure to thaw the ice because it was so hot I couldn’t eat any of it for a couple of minutes.

Now onto the potatos.  There was a giant hole in the middle.  Remember as a kid when you made that hole like a volcano to put gravy in there?  Well that’s what our chef or waitress must have done because it was like looking into Mount St. Helens, only on my plate.  And they were incredibly yellow looking.  Which makes me wonder exactly how much butter they used in mashing these things.  An entire churn perhaps?  And to top it all off, they had a layer of crusty hardness on them.  As though they had been sitting out for a while.  Yum.  The best part about the meal was the honey butter and roll.  I could have eaten an entire meal consisting of just that.

Live and learn I guess.  I lived through the meal and learned not to eat there again.

16 thoughts on “Hungry?…Yeah Not So Much

  1. My family is from AR, LA and MS. Ever experienced a “fish house” or a “cole slaw bar.” Yes friends, you heard that right. (Dictionary didn’t know the word cole)

    Yep, I’m from AR so all know all about fish houses and cole slaw bars. I hate cole slaw. I always refer to it and cold slop.

  2. Um, you failed to mention the name of this nasty establishment so that I can add it to the list of places to never go to.

    Yeah sorry about that. It was Johanna’s.

  3. You also failed to mention that I walked out of the salon looking as though I could be the grand marshall at the Utah state rodeo fair parade. My hair hasn’t been that big since 1991!

    AND… I was laughing so hard that I choked on water and it squirted out my nose. Our teenage waitress thought i was having a seizure. What a glorious dinner that was! The carpet was sticky, too.

    I knew I was forgetting something but I’ve been so busy here at work I’m surprised I was able to post anything. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. Oh how I love country questionable cuisine. We have a Chinese restaurant minus anyone Asian here. Oh, and a Mexican restaurant that doesn’t have rice or beans but Tater-tots. Holy Hannah.

    What kind of a Mexican restaurant doesn’t serve rice and beans? Oh yeah, one run in Idaho. Yikes man, yikes.

  5. Nice! I have to know how much your sister paid for her 3 hour hair makeover. Cripes! Sounds like the food was less than desirable, but at least your roll was good!

    The roll was heavenly! Of course the things you shouldn’t eat are the yummiest…go figure.

  6. Leigh: Jace NEVER takes 3 hours on my hair… usually only 90 minutes but he didn’t have any other clients so he was a Chatty Cathy that day. Plus I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to asking questions. I have the perfect impression of a gay Vietnemese man from the hundreds of hours I’ve spent with him.

    $95 for a cut and color — what a bargain!!! In LA the same thing would’ve cost me $300 or more. He added some honey and strawberry tones… looks fabulous now that I’ve had the chance to play with it.

    That’s all he charged?? Good grief, he charged me more when I went to him in the spring and I didn’t have him cut my hair AND my hair was/is less than half the length of yours. And by the way, I like your new picture you’re using.

  7. Yeah – ditto to what Pete said…what place was it? Too bad you didn’t take a picture to ad too! Pammy – were those pics. on Nandango’s View taken before or after the appt. with Jace? You look fantastic! (I’m asking because I’m getting mine done on Friday — I think I’ll ask for the same highlight tones as you…)

    It was Johanna’s up in Sandy. I will not be eating there again that’s for sure. You’re getting your hair done on Friday? Ooh, can’t wait to see pics.

  8. I love cuisine of questionable origins. We have a resturaunt like that around here that my husband and I go to just for the “guess what kind of meat this really is” factor. Good time.

    Well I guess if you don’t die or get some sickness from the “meat” then it could be a fun game.

  9. Pammy Girl: That IS a bargain!! Geez!! Definitely worth it to travel to Utah for that price!! The hair is amazing by the way….very nice! I thought Nandango may have been exaggerating on the 3 hours…LOL! Sometimes it’s nice to stay longer and chit-chat.

    It was nice for her to sit and chit chat but I was more than ready to go. Luckily I took a book with me and made some nice headway into it. However, the place stunk and I was next to the lady doing nails and that stuff is strong!

  10. “…It sort of had an American red, white, and blue theme going on – redneck, white trash, blue collar. ”

    LOVE IT!

    lots of places around here like that.

    Well I’m glad you liked that part. I was hesitant to put it in there b/c I really didn’t want to offend someone by them thinking I was degrading blue collar workers. I really think there jobs are tough and thankless and I have a lot of respect for them. But it fit with the whole American color thing.

  11. I HATE it when food at restaurants is so obviously microwaved. Sometimes you score at hole-in-the-wall places, other times you have an experience from hell like you described.

    Gross right?? I usually do like those hole-in-the-wall places because they can be extremely tasty. I’m a big burger fan and I think the best burgers come from tiny mom and pop diners. This, sadly, was not the case here.

  12. Oh, I didn’t explain that right. We don’t actually eat the whole “meat” patty. We take one or two bites of it and fill up on the bread. We aren’t that reckless. 🙂

    I’m glad you cleared that up. I was beginning to wonder. The bread really is the best part of places like that…yum, bread.

  13. I guess I’m redneck white trash. I would have covered everything in gravy, held my nose, shoveled it in, sopped up the plate with the roll, and washed it down with some sweet lemon tea. Yes, I live in Arkansas … and as long as the food doesn’t try to get away while I’m eating it, or fight back when I attack it with a fork and knife, then it’s going to be eaten. I know, I know …. I’m gross. But Hey, when in Rome … eat what the Romans eat! At my age … a gravy covered meal every now and then is good for the colon … you know … cleansing … and keeps me “regular.”

    Great hair Pammy … you look “Mahvelous!”

    You know, I’ve eaten some questionable foods when I lived abroad but this was not one of those times I was feeling adventurous. I just wanted a “home cooked meal”. My quest to find one continues.

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