I didn’t really go postal this morning but the thought did cross my mind…ok not really but there was minor irritation and that has to count for something right? A thought that really did cross my mind was, “Where did the stamp machine go??” I had two cards I wanted to mail and thus needed two stamps. That’s it. I didn’t want a booklet, I didn’t need a special rate, I didn’t need anything weighed, I just needed two little stamps. Easy enough. Back in the day you could just walk into the post office and drop your money into a stamp vending machine and viola! stamps. I was counting on this and for the first time in a long time I wasn’t dreading the post office. Because of e-mail, myspace, facebook, texting, blogs, online banking, automatic deductions, and the phone I NEVER send actual mail. I almost forgot what it was. And maybe that’s why I was not aware of this new development. Or maybe it’s not new, I have no idea.
So in I walk looking for the “vending” machine and instead I see a more updated, hip, cool looking machine with touch screen buttons offering me stamps. Ok whatever as long as I get my two stamps I don’t care what the machine they come in looks like. I touch the “I want to buy a stamp button” thinking it will ask how many and then spit them out. But instead I’m asked to place my card on the machine to be weighed. Uh, ok. Then I’m asked if my envelope fits one of the following options which included different possible sizes for my envelope and if there is anything liquid or hazardous inside. None of their options fit my need so I pushed the “none of these apply” button. Then at some point I had to enter the zip code I’m sending the card to, accept some sort of liability page (what??), accept terms and conditions, and sign away my first born. I lost track after question 5 or 6 the whole time thinking “I just want two little stamps!!”. I thought about pushing exit and going to a teller but there was already a line inside.
Finally after answering all their questions, the machine doing an eye and fingerprint laser identification scan, and having my background checked for any priors, I am deemed an acceptable member of society to purchase stamps. Would I like to purchase one stamp, three stamps, or a booklet? Sigh. None of the above thank you very much I only need two. But since I didn’t want to go through the entire process again I opted to buy three stamps. It is at this point I realize the machine DOES NOT TAKE CASH. Oh for the love. I looked over my shoulder to see if the line with the tellers had dwindled but it hadn’t so I now have a charge for $1.26 on my card. Lame.
So much for new modern advanced technology. Where did all the old stamp vending machines go?? And why?? That’s what I’d like to know.