That’s what I think every time I go into the gym at my complex and see guys in there. The gym is very small (think hotel workout area) and almost always I’m in there by myself. This of course is ideal but every so often there will be another female working out but even more rare, is to see a guy on the machines. I really don’t mind there being others around while I’m working out but the guys sort of baffle me with their routines and the bafflement is turning into annoyance.
Take Guy A. He was in the gym yesterday when I walked in. I’m not sure how long he had been there before I arrived but we worked out together for a half hour before he left. For me, this half hour consisted of running/walking on the treadmill. For Guy A, only 5 minutes consisted of actually working out. He had brought in his personal mini DVD player and had some Ben Stiller movie going when I got there. Ya, ok whatever. This is why I always take my Ipod with me in case there’s something on I don’t want to watch, like ESPN or Nascar which seems to be the channel of choice for most guys. For about 20 min of his “workout” he watched this movie. Sometimes he just sat on the benches of the weight machine and sometimes he stood there staring up at the screen. Um, excuse me but if you wanted to watch TV then stay home and let the rest of us watch what we want since we’re the ones actually using the facility. The other 5 min consisted of walking in and out to the water fountain and gawking and the two girls laying by the pool in their bikinis. I don’t know why he needed so much water because he never broke a sweat and as for the girls, well that was just pitiful. The wall in front of the machines is all windows. Had the girls been laying out on chairs in front of the windows then by all means Guy A, stare until your heart’s content. But they weren’t. The only way to see them was to crane your neck and practically smash your face against the glass. And I don’t know if it was more sad or funny that he was trying to be discrete and subtle about it but he struck out on both counts. As part of his 5 minute workout, he chose a machine directly in front of the treadmill I was on making for an awkward 30 seconds as I didn’t know where I was supposed to look. For the rest of his 4 min 30 second workout, he lifted weights. Every time he brought the weights back down there was this loud CLANK! as all the weights hit each other. Here’s a hint, if you can’t control the weights enough to bring them down gently without them touching each other each time, then they’re too heavy for you little man! Lighten the load already.
As annoying as Guy A is, I hate Guy B. He works out in jeans and soccer shoes and already I find him suspicious and odd. He turns on the radio full blast to Crap 101.9FM and in turn I put the volume up on my Ipod full blast so that by the time I leave the gym I’m deaf and will be for the next couple of hours. I have a pretty eclectic taste in music but honestly this is where I draw the line. I don’t know how to describe the sound of the music exactly but I imagine someone playing a flute while little people run around in an open field wearing old English peasant clothing. It’s terrible. And at full volume. He also walks out a million times for water even though like Guy A, he hasn’t broken a sweat. Do guys need that much more water than girls? I don’t understand. A slight difference is that he will stay out and walk in the hallway. Just when I’m about to pause the treadmill and turn off his “music” because I think he’s gone, he walks back in only to walk around the machines. Then he’ll sit down and start lifting weights and before you know it, CLANK! CLANK! Seriously? Is there some male gene that forces them to lift weight beyond their capacity? I’d like to know. And as with Guy A, Guy B will only do one set of 3 and stop for a water break before doing another set or before he begins his circle around the machines again.
Every girl that I’ve ever seen work out in there (myself included) do a full, sweaty workout. We never listen to Crap 101.9, we never walk around the machines without using them, we continue working out the whole time even while we have the TV on, and we get water on our way out the door when we’re done with the workout. Maybe it’s just the guys in my complex who use this facility that are odd. It’s been a long time since I went to a real gym though I do seem to remember always seeing groups of guys hanging out around the different weight machines talking. So maybe that’s how all guys work out. Or at least how they work out in public. There are some guys who are pretty ripped and I know they didn’t get that way from a 5 minute work out. Maybe they have a full gym in the privacy of their home and go to a public gym to talk to their buddies and look at all the girls. I have no idea. I think this may be another one of those mysteries about guys I’ll never figure out or understand.
*I was going to take a pic of where I work out but naturally when I went back there were people in there. Maybe I’ll try again this afternoon.