Personality 101

Lastnight my roommate handed me a personality quiz that she had picked up a couple of weeks ago so I thought I would give a whirl and see what it had to say about me.  Good thing I had a lot of time to kill because this thing was like taking the SATs!  There are 82 pages divided into 10 chapters and took me about an hour to complete – talk about pressure.  Most chapters were pretty predictable like the one entitled Stressed or laid-back? or Creative or logical?  But as you continued the chapters turned into A Short Psychological Journey and Graphology.  For heaven’s sake, I thought she picked this up from Walmart not special ordered the book from some CSI crime lab.

The first two chapters were borring but chapter 3 got things a little more interesting and on the way to a good laugh.  It’s titled Animal Magnetism and you are to pick three animals in order of preference from the pages.  I picked the wolf, dog, and monkey.  According to the book, it means that I would like to be seen as a wolf (I’m a little fuzzy on what that’s supposed to mean), I think people see me as a dog (I’m really hoping that means loyal and dependable and not as a bitch), and I see myself as a monkey.  Really?  A monkey?  Uh, ok.

Chapter 4 was Physiognomy – Let’s Get Physical.  For this chapter you had to analyze your face and more extensively your hands.  Anyone looking into my front room window may have thought I was stoned seeing as how my hand was 2 inches from my face and I labored over analyzing my phalanges on my fingers for a solid 10 min.  The result?  I should probably look into getting a manicure.

Chapters 5 and 6 were relatively borring.  Ahh, here we go.  Chapter 7: A Short Psychological Journey.  This chapter consisted of a story and you had to provide the immediate details that came to your mind.  For example, you start off going for a walk and it asks you which way you go?  Over open plains or down in a wooded valley?  Along the journey you come across a few things in your path that you describe: a bear, gun, key, vase, water, and additional landscape.  It also asks if the gun is loaded, if you shoot the bear, if pick up the key and/or vase.  I finish and flip to the back.  Really this book is like those choose  your own adventure series the way it has you flipping back and forth.  As I’m reading what the choices mean I’m thinking, “yeah, yeah uh-huh.  Typical and predictable.”  Until I get to the key and vase.  In my mind, I assumed the key would represent something along the lines of unlocking the door of possibility or opportunity.  This is what the book said:

For men, the key indicates how they see their own sexuality (little chubb lock or great big rusty old thing).  And whether they pick it up or not relates to their self-esteem and how comfortable they are with that image.  For women, the key relates to their ideal of male sexuality (good solid housekey or something that’s going to open Pandora’s box).  Whether they pick it up or not again shows how comfortable they are with that image.

I was momentarily caught off guard because I was so sure there was a window to success somewhere that I was supposed to unlock.  I followed that moment with an eruption of laughter!  What are they even talking about right now??  The laughter explosion only continued as I realized that I had left the key on the ground and went on my merry way down the wooded path.  Hmm, could this help resolve some deep issue I might have with the opposite sex?  Nah, I’m pretty sure I just didn’t want to carry around an extra key.  Especially if it wasn’t going to unlock the doors of possibility.

Chapter 8 was all about the colors of your mind and was fairly dull.  Though the answer to question #2 was so random and unhelpful I had to laugh.  The question asked if you’re more comfortable in a sunny room, dimly-lit room, or the dark.  According to the book, if you choose the dark “You are a mole.”  Uh, ok. Sure.  That was completly un-insightful (is that a word?) and well, just plain stupid.

Chapter 9 and 10 were more borring ones.  Chapter 10 being Graphology and I swear I saw an episode on CSI once where they figured out if someone was a serial killer based on their handwriting.  I found my results in that area to be inconclusive.

Overall this quiz told me nothing except that I have way too much free time on my hands.  On my evenly placed phalange hands.


** I have pics to go along with this post but I’ve been trying for a few hours to get them to upload and wordpress isn’t letting me.  I will keep trying and post them as soon as I’m able!

12 thoughts on “Personality 101

  1. If it helps you any, I probably would have left the key behind too. Why pick up a key if you don’t know what it goes to? May my husband never find out that I didn’t pick up the key…

  2. I burst out laughing about the dog part. I’m pretty sure most people see me as being loyal and dependable AND a bitch. Embrace it.

    Sounds like the personality test the Dark Master made me take a few years back. She didn’t like my answers. Are you kidding me? She was weird. And the key thing? Who wants to be responsible for and carry more crap when you don’t know what it’s supposed to open?

  3. Ok, so the adolescent part of me want’s to say I imagined the key as being a giant twelve-inch piece of ornate wrought-iron MANLINESS!!!

    But, in fact, I just envisioned a normal, everyday, run-of-the mill house key. Like the other six I already have on my keychain. Like EVERYBODY has on their keychain. Because, really, what other kind of key are you likely to find?

    And I’d have probably picked it up because, hey, someone might be looking for it and I could save them some trouble.

    Which, I guess, implies that…I’m average and low maintenance? I need a test to tell me that, why?

  4. Well, I have to admit that whenever a key is mentioned, for some reason, I always envision a skeleton key. Why? Hmmm…my fascination with antiquity? And, of course, I would pick it up. No doubt it’s the damn key to Pandora’s Box. Go figure.

  5. I love personality quizzes. but this one does seem a little out of control. mostly I just like the ones I take online for fun that tell me I am witty, and fun, and people like to be around me. who doesnt like a ego boost?

  6. Sarah: Glad to know I’m not alone!

    Pammy Girl: Be happy you don’t work for the Dark Master anymore and exactly – why would I want more crap to haul around?

    Dead Charming: I’m sure every guy would like to say that the key they imagined was wrought ironed manliness. Kudos to you for thinking you were helping someone out by picking up the key!

    2lazydogs: LOL you crack me up! With Pandora’s box at least nothing would be dull and borring.

    kelltick: I like doing quizes on line as well. Usually dumb ones like which teenage mutant turtle I’m most like.

  7. Oh yeah must love those online quizzes. Who doesn’t want to know what Carebear they are most like? I think I’m cheerful bear or something. And maybe since I’m bored I’ll go find out for sure. 🙂

  8. I love the quizzes that tell you which character/superhero you are. I always see myself as a person bordering between good and evil…a kind of mysterious character.

    When I complete the questions, I just turn out to be the DORK!

  9. morethananelectrician: I never come out the way I think I’m going to on those quizzes but I love taking them anyway. I think I’m more daring and dangerous but always end up being the sidekick or friend of the superhero. There was some cartoon of superheros and friends (can’t remember the actual name) and one of them was a Polynesian named Hula Hula and all he did was eat. That’s who I end up being.

  10. I used to share an office with a dude who was totally obsessed with personality types. Thank the lord the time you took to solve this quizz didn’t provide any weird personality formulas: INTJ, and what not. Yeah, they suck.

  11. I heard the same bear, key, vase, water story except the items had different meaning, the bear was trouble, the key was education, and the water was sexuality, (stream or ocean, swim or not)

    I imagine you could make up whatever you wanted for any of the items to fit what you wanted it to mean. Stuff like this cracks me up because it’s so ridiculous. I bet I could make a lot of money being a fortune teller. Hmm, something to think about…

  12. Sorry to be 3 years late to the party, but what book are you referencing? A good friend of mine is trying to find this book because her boyfriend referenced it and wished he could remember the title. Any ideas?

    Sorry but I have no idea what the name of the book was. I’ll have to text my old roommate and see if she still has the book.

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