Not Quite 30 But Close Enough

There have been a lot of 80’s reminiscing lately on different blogs so it was timely that I received this forward from a co-worker.  I’ve actually read this a couple of times in the past but still think it’s funny (even if I am under 30):

The Spoiled Under 30 Crowd
If you are 30 or older, you will think this is hilarious!!!! If not, send it to your parents! They’ll think it’s funny!
 
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were
growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning …. uphill BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in heck I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that
 on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

 But now that…
I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I
mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

1. When I was a kid, we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the dang library and
look it up ourselves… in the card catalog!! (Do you even know what a card catalog is? Didn’t think so!)

2. There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter…with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across
the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

3. There were no MP3’s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the dang record store and shoplift it
yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

4. We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

5. And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

6. We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
“Space Invaders” and “asteroids” and the graphics were horrible! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

7. When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!

8. Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning.    Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

9. And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a fire ….imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing or a pan with HOT oil and Real popcorn kernels and shake it all over the stove forever like an idiot.

10. When we were on the phone with our friends and our parents walked-in, we were stuck to the wall with a cord, a 7 foot cord that ran to the phone – not the phone base, the actual phone. We barely had enough length to sit on the floor and still be able to twirl the phone cord in our fingers. If you suddenly had to go to the bathroom – guess what we had to do….. hang up and talk to them later.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled!!  

You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

 

And just to add to this:

There was no power anything in you car.  If you wanted to roll the windows up or down you had to do it manually with the little contraption on the side of the door.  If you were driving long distances forget cruise control.  You just had to have champion feet and ankles with high endurance levels.  You wanted to listen to the radio?  That’s right, you had to actually find it by looking at little numbers and turning a dial!

 

Another way the phone was semi-inadequate was that there were roatary phones.  For those young’ns that may be reading, a rotary phone had a circular dial that you had to wait until each number went around for the alloted amount of time.  Heaven forbid someone to have a phone number with the numbers 7, 8, or 9! 

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9 thoughts on “Not Quite 30 But Close Enough

  1. This was HILARIOUS! I totally agree. Today’s kids have NO IDEA whatsoever what the world is like without the internet, computers, cell phones, iPODS, and MP3 players.

    We really did play OUTSIDE ALL DAY (unheard of, right?) rode skateboards, big wheels, scooters, banana seat bikes, and the red Radio Flyer wagons were hot!

    I am the ripe age of 30 myself and these young grasshoppers don’t have a clue. The lil whipper snappers wouldn’t know what to do if they had to go outside in the summer to play without their Nintendo Gameboy in tow.

    Hey, I even had to walk to school!

    http://www.satirah.wordpress.com

  2. ah the old big black heavy rotary phones!
    You could dial faster if you forced the dial back with your finger!!
    Atari 2600!! I remember Pong, K.C. and the Sunshine Band 45’s, and a dial on the TV!
    In September there were the Saturday morning cartoon preview shows to let you get all excited about what you’d be watching for the next year.

  3. What about movies? Blockbuster hadn’t even been invented yet! And it wasn’t until the end of the 80’s that the VCR really took off. Big black movie tapes is what we had and they even had to even be rewound. It took forever standing in front of that machine waiting for it to finish.

  4. I’ve also seen this before, but had completely forgotten about number 4. While it can be rude if not appropriately handled, I seriously think that call waiting is one of the greatest innovations of the past couple of decades. I hate busy signals.

  5. satirah: yeah, why don’t kids play outside anymore? Those were the best days ever! No wonder we have an obesity problem here in the US.

    planetross: I hated the dial on the TV. It was such a pain to get up, change the channel, sit down. Get up, change the channel, sit down. Remote controls are one thing I’m glad that’s changed.

    morethananelectrician: I totally forgot about the problems with VHS. I remember before we owned a VCR we would have to rent one from our local video store.

    Citizen D: I agree. Busy signals are annoying and frustrating. I’m so used to call waiting and cell phones that when I do get a busy signal I look at the phone like it’s broken.

    lynnared: you added some more great examples on your blog! very funny.

  6. I love this post. Card catalogs. I remember the beginning of every school year being taken to the library so that we could learn how to use it. Ah, good times!

  7. Pammygirl: Yeah I remember passing notes and learning how to fold them into these bazare shapes. Good times! Paying at the pump is the best ever. I haven’t gone inside to pay for gas in I don’t know how long.

    Sarah: I must say that I do not miss using the card catalog (but am very glad I know how). I remember when you turned in an English paper you had to make all of your note/bibliography cards to site your sources and my teacher would take off points for putting commas or periods in the wrong places.

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