Shlumpadinkas

I don’t normally like Oprah but my sister went to a taping a couple of weeks ago and it aired yesterday, so I was tuned in to see if I could catch a glimpse of her (I didn’t by the way).  But the show was all about make-overs and dressing better at a cheaper cost.  Oprah coined the word shlumpadinkas to describe women who wear the same worn out, baggy, old clothes all the time.  In other words, she described me perfectly.  After the show I went into my closet and not counting clothes I received this past Christmas, this is what I discovered: 

  • Over 1/2 the clothes are hand-me-downs from my sisters or mom
  • 1/2 of the hand-me-downs don’t even fit
  • There are ONLY 2 articles of clothing newer than a year.  One is a jean skirt that’s too big and one is a shirt.
  • Of the non-hand-me-downs, about 1/2 were bought 3 years ago when I came home from Guatemala and the other 1/2 I’ve had since high school.  Hello!  That was almost 11 years ago.
  • The majority of shirts in my drawer have small holes in them but guess what?  I wear them anyway.

I wear the same things over and over and over.  Right now for example, I’m wearing my favorite pants.  They are army green cargo athletic pants that have small holes in the knees and used to belong to my brother before I stole them from his drawer three years ago.  The shirt I’m wearing used to belong to my mom and is a little short in the arms but since I pull the sleeves up no one knows.  I have on my tennis shoes (I can’t even remember when I bought them)  that I haven’t tied for at least 2 years.  Miraculously, I’m not wearing a hoodie today but have more than my fair share in my closet.

Yesterday I wore these brown cargo pants that my sister gave me, that someone gave her.  That’s a two time hand me down.  And wouldn’t you know, they’re 3-4 sizes too big but I wear them anyway because they’re comfortable.  And because I loved my other pair of brown cargo pants and wore them so much, they became thin in the butt and the seam in the crotch ripped…they’re still in my closet.  Why, I don’t know because I don’t know how to sew and let’s be honest, they’re beyond repair.  The T-shirt I wore yesterday was nice and new from Christmas but the long sleeve shirt I wore under the T-shirt is at least 3 years old and not only has it shrunk a little over time, there is a hole along the seam on the arm.  And the shoes I wore that are only 2 years old are becoming unglued along the sole.

I could go on and on.  What I don’t understand is what in the crap happened???  I used to dress cute and put together.  Nothing extravagant or crazy but at the very least decent.  I can’t really blame cold weather because in the summer I wear the same capris pants, t-shirts, and flip flops over and over.  And the worst part?  I’m only 28!!!  I can’t use the excuse that I’m old and out of the fashion loop, I don’t have kids, I’m not married (geez, after reading this what a shocker!), and I don’t work insane hours that make me too tired. 

I don’t know what happened but I do know what I am.  I am a shlumpadinka. 

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11 thoughts on “Shlumpadinkas

  1. Have you ever watched What Not to Wear on TLC? That show alone is the reason I don’t wear sweatshirts in public anymore. That show is guaranteed to treat the schumpadinka syndrome (I’m not saying I’m perfect with my wardrobe…just better now).

  2. lynnard: our closets probably are identical since you’ve given me your clothes and I’ve given you mine.

    morethananelectrician: so, your closet is full of hand me downs from you sisters and mom as well? odd. j/k but i think guys can get away with “sloppy” dressing far better than girls.

    Allison: I’ve seen brief snip-its of the show but haven’t actually sat down to watch a full episode. I don’t really watch TLC (with exceptions to Miami and LA Ink) but I might just have to start scheduling it in.

  3. I know the feeling. It’s funny but after I quit my job, that’s when I chose to start paying attention to what I wear. Go figure. I do still wear sweatshirts out in public, but I make sure that they don’t have holes or anything in them. If it has a hole, I save it for when I’m at home.

  4. At the moment, I wear the same thing over and over. I feel like crap, look like crap, and it depresses me something awful but if I’m not working, then what’s the point of trying to look good in my own home?

  5. Sarah: In an odd way that makes sense that you would care more about clothing after you quit your job. If you’re around the same people all day, day in and out, why would it matter what you look like? It’s when you get around people outside of your “norm” that you would become more self-concious of your appearance. That’s how it is with me anyway. Too bad I’ve considered everyone everywhere part of my norm!

    Pammy: I agree. On the weekends I hardly bother to get out of my PJs at all if I don’t have to. But I’ve seen your closet and I know that you have lots of cute clothes that fit and could dress up if you wanted to. I on the other hand….

  6. Allison: Don’t beat up on yourself too much. Today I’m wearing those same army green pants, shoes still untied, and a hoodie. So much for trying to not be a shlumpadinka.

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