So I live in the dating capital of the world and unfortunately for me, I don’t really like to date that much. It always seems like some sort of awkward dance that I never learned the moves to and so I end up doing some sort of ritual mating dance (like in Can’t Buy Me Love) while everyone else is doing the Fox Trot. And the worst kind of date out there is the blind date. Now I have never actually been on a true blue, set me up with your friend and I’ll meet him at the door blind date. No way. This always comes as a sort of shock to my friends because as I said, I live in th dating capitol of the world. But I don’t really see what I’m missing out on. First of all, when did it become ok to go out alone with a perfect stranger? Maybe I’m old school but what was so wrong with the first rule you learn in life…Don’t talk to strangers!? And do you ever notice that when someone says they have someone in mind to set you up with it usually ends up being someone that they would go out with given the chance? And you’re left thinking, “do you even know me at all??” I asked some friends to share with me some of their blind date stories and this is what they came up with:
1. Not only was this a blind date, it was the person’s FIRST date ever. Talk about a double whammie! Turns out, when they got to the dance she told my friend that she had only asked him out to make her former boyfriend jealous. Nice. So he said all night every time the former BF came by she would grab his hand and lean in for the kiss. To top off the evening, he and the rest of the guys got yelled at by her dad for having a gummy bear fight in the basement while waiting for the girls to get ready. Sounds like a winner.
2. So my co-worker went out with a guy and all his mission buds. Even all the girls that went along were from the mission and she was the only “date” there. Talk about immediate awkwardness. They all went 4 wheeling and sat around the camp fire telling mission stories. When it was time to go, the boys put out the fire by PEEING on it! EEWW! Really guys? Then on the way down from the mountain, my co-worker’s date decided to ride the 4 wheeler instead of going in the truck with everyone else. Guess what? They ran out of gas and had to wait for 20-30min in the cold until everyone else made it down. Then when they got to the bottom, her date backed his own car into someone else so they had to wait until the police came and they filled out a report.
3. A co-worker told me about a blind date her friend went on. I guess the girl was obviously hinting at the idea so they guy asked her out. But then the entire night the girl talked about her ex-BF. As they were leaving the girl asked for a box to take 1/2 her sandwich home. The guy thought this was a good idea and when he said this to her she replied with, “Oh, it’s not for me. I’m taking to my ex.” Who says that kind of stuff?? Then on the way home, she points out that they are passing the ex’s apartment. So the guy says, “Oh did you want me to drop you off?” To which she replied with, “Yeah ok.” Weirdo. And he did by the way.
4. Let’s not forget when my friend went on a blind date where the conversation turned sour. It started off talking about her family (so far so good. normal conversation). Then he started asking her what kind of a family she wanted to have, how many kids, their gender, etc. (weird and not so normal). But I guess whatever she said met his approval because he then said, “I bet you’re a vision in all white.” Ok, EEWW!!! and creepy!
5. And my personal favorite. A former co-worker really liked this girl (though she didn’t know him) and asked her out. She said yes and he decided that not only would they have a typical a date but he would plan something special for her. This something special was a “romantic evening under the stars” complete with sparkling cider and strawberries. Let me just reiterate that this is a BLIND DATE!! So it’s about midnight and he starts driving to the spot (which turns out to be someplace wooded and in the middle of nowhere). I can only imagine what she’s thinking. He won’t tell her what they’re doing or where they’re going wanting it to be a surprise. Well she had a little surprise for him when he got out of the car. Once out she locked the doors and wouldn’t let him back in. He said it took quite a while for him to convince her to unlock the door and let him back in…and that he really wasn’t going to kill her and leave her body in the woods.
Maybe I’m over reacting a little about the whole blind date thing. But when I hear stories like this, can you really blame me?